Quebec Vipassana Center - Dhamma Suttama

Last winter there was a cold streak in February. It was cold. It was very cold. So, of course, I spent my time off work traveling north into Canada for a meditation retreat. The center is located between Ottawa and Montreal. The temperature hit 40 degrees below zero, Farenheit (though they used Celsius up there). I fulfilled my lifelong dream of having icicles grow from my beard.

The retreat was profound, as always, and I had so much delight in resting into that cold, snowy, pillowy paradise of the mind. Around day 8 or 9, I developed a high fever and strong cold. It was definitely the sickest I've ever been on retreat. It was a bit frustrating as my concentration diminished, and yet it was also very cool to observe the sensations of illness arising and passing within the framework of this body.

Illness is, of course, is one of the Buddhist foundations of human suffering (along with old age and death). These bodies that we have are so exposed to our environment that other creatures can come inside and live within our bodies. Sometimes such a "bug" makes us sick as the cellular defenses kick in. All of this arises and passes, arises and passes. What a joy to bare witness! What liberation comes from the equanimous mind.

I played in the snow, and sat plopped down in the fresh powdery dumps. Each day I took walks in the woods, allowing the stinging chill of the air to touch my lungs and wake me up to life.

The accommodations were quite enjoyable (and warm on the inside). The center has a unique quality in that the men and women are completely segregated throughout the entire meditation retreat. There are even two separate meditation halls. I found this to be a diminishment of the meditation experience. I understand that mixed gender meditations can be a distraction for many, but I think the added presence of having more meditators sharing a common space is far greater than whatever distractions they meant to avoid. It was a strange the way I knew the women were on retreat also, yet I could barely feel their presence.

I had so much fun meeting all of the french speakers as well. Dhamma knows no boundaries when it comes to language. They had delightful accents, and everyone looked so adorable wearing huge parkas and thick boots.

It was a wonderful retreat. Thank you Dhamma Suttama!

"Through the sky blow many different winds,
from east and west, from north and south,
dust-laden and dustless, cold as well as hot,
fierce gales and gentle breezes -- many winds blow.
In the same way, in this body, sensations arise,
pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral."

- Pathama-akasa sutta, SN 1.260

Retreat at Kaufman, Texas Dhamma Center

I went on retreat last April (2015) at the Kaufman center in Texas. It's been so long now since the retreat that I have forgotten a lot of the details, but I still wanted to share the photos. It is a beautiful center, and I had my own private room with a bathroom (many of the rooms at the center are singles like this).

I took nice walks along the trails, but I remember the grass had my allergies going the whole time. The wild bunny rabbits were so cute as they bounced around in the grass. The neighbor's cows also came by for a visit now and then.

The center has a pagoda as well, and I made use of it mostly in the mornings. I love getting up in the stillness of a quiet morning and walking to the pagoda. So much stillness, both inside and out.

The community at this center seemed unique. There were many younger people involved there, and so much metta. At the end of the retreat, they made sure that everybody had a ride to where they needed to go, and if people couldn't find a ride, local people would just shuttle people out of the kindness in their hearts.

Oh, and I also made a lot of friends on the retreat. One of them was a spectacular poet named Buddy Wakefield. He and I went to the airport together after the retreat and got to spend a few hours basking in dhamma and sharing wonderful insights while we waited for our flights. He was clearly so in touch with his inner world and so wonderful at articulating it too.

I remember that I said a phrase which he liked, and then he wrote it down on a piece of paper. I guess that's what a writer does, constantly scribble notes here and there as inspiration comes. Perhaps I could do more of that too.

The phrase he scribbled was this:


"The happiness beyond the conditions of the world."

May you all taste such happiness.

 

Retreat at Kelseyville Center - NCVC

I recently sat a course at the new Goenka center in Kelseyville, CA.  It was a wonderful place for a retreat.  It's located about 20 minutes from Harbin Hot Springs, and about 2-3 hours north of San Francisco. 

It's a smaller center than the North Fork center.  The smaller size makes things much easier, logistically.  The line for lunch isn't as long, and it isn't too crowded.  I saw some amazing wildlife: blue-tailed skink, a family of wild turkey, lots of deer, and more.

The walking trails go up the hill behind the meditation hall, so you can get quite a workout going up and down the hill.  It offers a tranquil forest setting, which is great for a break from sitting.  I stayed in a tent at the top of the hill, and the tent spaces were very nice. They were farther from the street, and somewhat secluded.  I loved seeing the stars at night through the mesh ceiling of my tent. 

I don't know what the indoor accommodations were like, but I saw quite a few dorms.  I don't think they have very many single rooms, so be prepared to share your space.  The showers were clean and plentiful. 

I had a great time, and most likely I will be back again.

Long Term Service - FAQ

A number of people have asked me questions about my experience living at the Vipassana center in North Fork, so I wanted to do a follow up to one of my original posts.  I know that it can sometimes be hard to get a hold of anyone at the center to answer your questions (after all, they are all volunteers.)  So, here are my answers.  I will try to update this if I get more questions:

Q: I have sit a couples of course and recently I have been thinking about staying there and serving the the center on a long/short term basis... I would like to know when you are not serving or sitting the course.  Do they have a fixed schedule for you to follow?  Will they allow access to the internet etc during those times or even when you were serving?

A: If you are staying at the center, here are the rules as far as I know.  This is UNOFFICIAL... so I will always defer to whatever they tell you:
1) You have to stay on the five precepts and meditate a minimum of 2 hours per day no matter what. Even if you take a day trip up to Yosemite, there shall be no boozing and fornicating.
2) When serving a course, you are expected to follow the server schedule which includes six hours of work per day and 3 hours of sitting.  If, for some reason you need to sit or rest more and work less, they usually can accommodate that.  Internet use, phone calls, leaving the center, etc. are all discouraged while a course is in progress, but sometimes they will make an exception if you ask and it seems reasonable.
3) Courses generally end on a Sunday morning.  That Sunday is considered the day off.  (Yep, one day off every 2 weeks.)  You still need to meditate 2-3 hours, but otherwise you can do whatever you want: internet, yosemite, skinny dipping in waterfalls, hiking, movies.  One time, a group of servers went to see the latest horror movie which just came out (I declined the invitation.)
4) From Monday until the next course is considered a service period which has it's own rule.  Basically, you will follow a schedule similar to the server schedule (6 hours of work, 3 hours of meditation)  except with a bit more lenience about leaving for day trips or using internet, etc.
5) In general, at no time are you supposed to do anything other than practice dhamma or do dhamma service on center grounds.  So, that means no reading (other than approved dhamma books.) No listening to your ipod, no playing guitar, etc.  If you want, you can just drive down to the end of the driveway and play your guitar by the street for an hour and then return.  Personally, I kind of like this rule, because it really keeps the intention crystal clear about the purpose of the center.
6) One more note: the time after lunch clean up, from 1:00-2:30 is considered break time and it is highly recommended to get in bed and take a nap.  This is great rest, and you will probably need it. If a there is no course going on, it can be a good time for a quick email check, as well.

Q: Anyway, it is great to know that I am not the only one want to live the dream of staying at a center.  It seems a little scary but at least now I know someone else has done it.

A: You are definitely not the only one.  I met dozens of servers staying anywhere from 2 days to 2 years or more.  The scariest part is taking the leap, but actually there is nothing to be afraid of.  It will take some work to return to your householders life after your stay at the center, but Vipassana meditators never shy away from a little work, right?

Home

I just watched this movie, Home. It's a series of breathtaking aerial images of different landscapes across the planet Earth. A narrator describes "our home" as we move through time from the beginnings of life to the age of petroleum.

It's more of an eco-movie than a meditation movie, but I'm not sure if there's much difference for me. I really like the maxim: Think Globally, Act Locally. And, really that's what my blog is about too: Travel Globally, Meditate Locally. (Maybe that will be my new tag line.)

The imagery in the movie takes us on travels around the globe to see stunning sights from every continent. The story takes us implicitly into the psychology of being an Earthling, although there's no explicit mention of psychology or greed or the primal drives which move us as humans.

What becomes clear is that with the beginnings of life comes the hunger for energy. To be an Earthling, and to be alive, is to be an energy hungering, sucking, slurping carbon-based form. To be an Earthling is to be composed of energy stored in organic matter and to feed off the energy of the Earth, the Sun, or the stored energy of other organic beings. Organic life. Hungry. Licking it's lips. Carbon! Light! Yum!

In fact, it even appeared (to me) as though humanity has just been a pawn in the wide sweeping movement of life to be born of energy and light - a process which has been going on for billions of years and is likely to continue long after the carbon-based human has mutated once again into greatly more complex organic life.

I like the idea of titling the movie "Home," though I was expecting it to be a bit more like a tour through my home to see what we find. I think they had a different agenda. I'll suggest the next movie be called "Earthling."

Anyway, I'm hungry now for some more light-energy stored conveniently in plant forms for my consumption. Time to eat. Slurrp!

My Breakthrough Books (chronological order)

I thought for fun, I'd write a list of those books and teachers who have had huge impacts in my life and my continuing path of personal awakening. I will try to get all the big ones in there, but may miss a few. I'm sure the most important will make it on the list. I don't necessarily recommend any of these anymore, as it seems like it's as much a matter of timing as anything. They were perfect for me, where I was, at the time. I hope this doesn't come off as too much narcissistic reminiscing, but I just wanted to share these resources out of gratitude.


1985 (?)
Aikido Class
I remember bowing to the Sensei and wearing cool clothes. I loved (and still love) the Japanese aesthetic. I don't think I had any idea what I was doing, however, but the drop falls really helped me from breaking bones later when I got into skateboarding. And, I think the sense of flowing with life has stayed with me ever since.

1983-1988 (?)
Nueva Learning Center
I was blessed to go to this ahead-of-its-time school as a kid. I can't even imagine my life without it.

1998
Way of The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman
I didn't read that many books back in those days, but this one was recommended to me by my mom, and was my first glimpse at a possible spiritual life that wasn't confined by the likes of Christianity or Science.

1999
The Tao of Physics, by Fritjof Capra
This was my first introduction to Eastern philosophy that was presented in a way that I was actually interested. (My first time hearing the Dharma.) I was simultaneously studying quantum physics at UC Berkeley, falling deeply deeply in love, and having the time of my life - the synchronicity was unbelievable and changed the entire course of my life. I think, after reading it, I called my sister and told her that I was a Buddha (psychotic delusions are always the mark of a really good book - he he). After this, I read a vast number of books from 1999 on in many different subjects that would be way too long a list to put here. None of them stand out now as particular highlights, though each one had a piece of the puzzle.

2003
10 Day Retreat, Suan Mokh, Thailand
My first real taste of silent meditation. I got into some very peaceful states, but really had no idea what these monks were going on about, with their Jhanas and Wheels of dependent origination and whatnot.

Gestalt Therapy, by Frederick S. Perls
I learned how to yell at pillows! No, actually, I just read the book (didn't actually do any therapy per se.) The book was my inspiration to stop being shy and start talking to real people in the real world (though it was something of a bumpy ride at first).

2004
Without Embarrasment (link requires parental supervision), by Mike Pilinski
It's totally embarrassing to mention this book here (if you click the link, you'll see what I mean - but don't click it at work). Ha! I mean, it's one of the cheeziest books out there, and I wouldn't really recommend it. But, out of all the dating books that I read from 2004-2006 or so, this one still stands out in my mind the most (thanks Mike!). The basic thing I got from it was to start questioning my shame. Like, I would discover a self-judgement: "I'm bad if I do xyz..." and then question "am I really bad?" It sounds simple, but it had a Profound Impact!

2007
The Authentic Man Program
I don't really know what they did, or if it really helped at all, but I do know it re-ignited the flame of my inner journey. I'm sure Decker would consider this success enough.

2008
10 Day Vipassana Course in the tradition of Sayagyi U Ba Khin and S.N. Goenka
Recommended to me by Decker and Bryan from The Authentic Man Program, my first course at the California Vipassana Center dropped a bomb on my psyche that's still sending shock waves through the Earth's crust. This really re-ignited the inner journey which started with Tao of Physics in 1999, and this time the lid blew off.

The Point of Existence by A.H. Almaas
What Goenka provided in practice, Almaas delivered in theory. For the very very very first time in my entire life, I actually considered that there might be an Absolute Truth (albeit beyond any explanation) and that therefore there might actually be... that's right... a point of existence. Not at all what I thought it'd be though. I think the meticulousness and scientific scrutiny with which the Diamond Mind books are presented actually gave me for the first time some faith that this stuff was real, and that it was well-traveled territory, and that although it's subjective and hard to describe, it is no less available for scientific discovery as any other landscape in existence. I'm not sure I would've gone on if not for this book.

Adyashanti
I found Adyashanti after first recommendation from my friend Greg, and then also from Damian (thanks guys). I really liked his down to earth descriptions of what it may mean to live the enlightened life. Again, it gave me a sense that there really was something going on here, and that it was possible.

2009
The Way to Ultimate Calm by Webu Sayadaw
The Vimuttimagga by The Arahant Upatissa
During my stay at the California Vipassana Center, I read a number of Theravada Buddhist texts, these two stand out as my favorites for extremely direct and practical teachings about meditation. And, the six month stay at CVC was a breakthrough in itself, to say the least.

Mastering The Core Teachings Of The Buddha, by Daniel Ingram
This is a profound book which is direct and to the point.

2010
Christopher Titmuss
Open Dharma
All of this is on my blog in the archives, so you guys know the story. But, I have so much love for Christopher, Jaya, Jess, Ajay, and Zohar.

I hope maybe someone gets a fresh idea for reading options or retreat options from this. If your out there reading this, I'd love to hear any breakthrough books or teachers, etc. which came at the right time and left a meaningful impact in your life. You can add it to the comment section and keep the list going!

An Invitation To Sit

The Redwood Grove Retreat Sanctuary is situated in the forested hills of Felton, CA. Practitioners from all traditions are welcome to come and spend time in quiet reflection or simply to enjoy the clean air and sweet bird songs in the forest.

He he....

Well, I used to live in a home that my housemates and I called The Project San Francisco Mansion. Now, why not call my home the Redwood Grove Retreat Sanctuary! Why not?! For now, it's my little retreat sanctuary, and it's paradise on Earth.

Although it's my mom's place, I am paying rent and she encouraged me to really consider it my own while I'm here. So, I turned the living room into a little meditation hall that could actually sit quite a few meditators comfortably. I don't expect any big meditation parties soon, however, as most of my friends still aren't quite as meditation obsessed as I am. But, the invitation really is open for anyone to come and join me sometime in a quiet sit (or lying on the couch or standing on your head, or however you prefer to enjoy the silence).

I've already had one guest to the house, who says "...." (yikes... I've even got testimonials?! This is funny.)

I've got another friend planning to stop in the next week or two. So, if you want a little retreat time of your own, to escape the non-stop bustle of the American Dream, send me an email.

Wake up bell is at 5:00AM (on a good day)

Staying at Abhayagiri Forest Monastery

Following the tradition of many Thai Buddhist Forest Monks of the past, a small group (mostly westerners) is living and practicing in the hills outside of Ukiah, CA. They call their sanctuary Abhayagiri Monastery. I've known about this place for a couple years now, but seeing how Ukiah isn't the most accessible place to travel to without a car, I had to wait for a ride. Luck had it that a friend, Robert, was going my way. In fact, he was giving a ride to a couple of the head-honcho monks at the monastery (more on that in a bit.)

The schedule is the same everyday at the monastery. Robert said "like Groundhog's Day." Yup. And, it was surprisingly a lot of work. It's not meant to be a retreat center, though... so it's not a like a nap in the park. Other than helping with dishes after every meal, and cleaning the toilet in the morning, I also was asked to do a couple of hours of trail maintenance work in the morning between breakfast and lunch. I got my workout! My back and shoulders were sore for a few days from all the swinging of a pick-axe.

After lunch, personal time begins, and I made use of it to sit in my humble cottage (called "The Bumblebee," and photo shown here) which was right next to a little babbling brook. My meditation practice was incredibly strong and deep, and I can't help but think that it was in part from the powerful energy of this monastery. From the moment I got there, I felt the peace overcome me. And, I had a wild dream on my second night there in which the entire universe exploded into shimmering lights of bliss, and I could see with incredible perspective on the total totalness of existence. It was cool, although I don't want to make too much a big deal out of it. The next day it was back to shoveling and breaking rocks. A flickering moment in time.

The trails (of which I helped work on) run for miles around the hills, which are mostly steep so provide ample exercise. I spent my last day running around taking photos and checking out the nooks and crannies.

They also have a pretty stellar library with a wide selection of Buddhist books and also some poetry, psychology, and even a cool book on old school etiquette.

The etiquette is another important point. When I first heard about Abhayagiri, my friend told me, "they are so careful with their vinaya there, it's impressive." The Vinaya is the monastic code of 227 rules governing all manners of morality and etiquette. I didn't really think that this could be impressive until I saw it! Yes, it is impressive!

It's not that they have really good rules, or that they are really good at keeping people from breaking the rules, or anything like that. In fact, most of the time it doesn't even feel like they are "rules" at all. Rather, it feels like an incredibly conscious community in which the monks take such care in all their actions. And with meticulous care, they cultivate a lifestyle which is incredibly pleasant to be around, peaceful, and joyful. Sure, there were a couple who seemed a little over-the-top with it, kinda like trying to be "good boy scouts." But, for the most part, it didn't seem contrived, forced, or oppressive at all. In fact, it felt freeing, open, and spacious. And, so many smiles too! The monks smile a lot.

The food is all donated (alms food), and it's not entirely vegetarian. The feast was quite large on Friday (the lunar celebration day) and I always made away with some very tasty dishes on my plate. Part of the practice is to only eat for health and not for pleasure, but it's a little counter-productive with all the cookies and dumplings, etc.

I made some good friends while there, and really enjoyed the company. I can see what a magnet this place must be for those who are willing to take the time to seek out such rare sanctuaries like this. I got to hear a couple short Dhamma talks from Ajahn Amaro and Ajahn Sucitto - two highly regarded long-time monks. The Dhamma talks brought me joy.

One reason I went was to see if I might someday want to become a monk. I must say that the trip brought me mixed thoughts on the topic. On one hand, I found the rules and monastic discipline to be more inspiring than what I'd thought. Also, the monk lifestyle seemed beautiful and very tempting. So, in some sense, I'm more interested now than before. While on the other hand, there was some thing about it also which pushed me away (and I'm not sure I can put my finger on it.) One of my friends noted that I'm a little too raw and unrefined for monastic life, and I think that may be it. I'm not a very "traditional" kind of guy, and I'm not a very good "Buddhist" either. But, we'll see. I have no idea what my future holds. I'm starting to think that I like my future like I like my coffee - with nothing in the cup. (I don't like coffee.)

I only stayed at Abhayagiri for three nights, as this was the plan with Robert and his driving schedule, and they limit your first stay to seven days max, anyway. I would like to go back at some point and stay for a longer time, perhaps. But, I'll be sure to be ready for some work!

IMC Dharma Talk with Gil Fronsdal

Last Monday, on my way up to Abhayagiri, I finally had a chance to stop in at the Insight Meditation Center, in Redwood City, CA. I'd been wanting to go to an event there for a while, since I've known many people who have attended classes and talks there and spoke highly of it. And it is Maria's (my stepmom) local Sangha in which she is very actively participating.

We sat for 45 minutes in meditation, and this was followed by a 45 minute question and answer period with Gil. As always, it was nice to have a group of people to sit with, and it was also nice to hear Gil field the questions. I don't remember much of the questions, but I know I had a good time. Gil has a very easy going demeanor and made some funny comments. One funny moment was when someone asked about all the "shoulds" in her life. She wanted to get away from all the shoulds. Gil was sure to point out that we don't need to eliminate the word "should" from the English language (although it can be quite oppressive for some). As an example, he said "If you want to go to pee, you should go to the bathroom... at least at IMC, you should... we have carpets!"

I think it's cool how Gil seems to be able to touch many people worldwide through his Audio Dharma, and other such resources. But, also the community has a very local feel to it. Those living close by could be quite grateful to have such a lively and supportive group.

I hope I'll have a chance to go back at some point, especially if Maria gives another talk there sometime, which I'd love to attend.

I'm writing a little something about my trip to the Monastery, too. I'll post it here with all my photos when I get a free moment (I'm a working man now, so not as much time! - but the job is also going well.)

Right now, I'm on my way to my storage unit to get everything out. Soon, I'll be giving most of the stuff away, or selling it. I can feel the fears and the clinging coming up as I consider getting rid of my "stuff." But... it's just "stuff," and it will be nice to know that I'm no longer holding a random closet full of junk hostage in Tracy, CA.

Spirit Rock, Abhayagiri, and California Living

I've been back in the US for a few days now, but it seems like I've already done a lot! I visited with family and friends, and saw a lot of the ol' hometown sights around the Bay Area. I took a nice hike out to the ocean with my dad too. The beard has been quite a centerpiece of conversation, but it's days are numbered (my friend Whit has some clippers here in SF)

So, as the wheels of time turn, opportunities are opening up in front of me once again. I'm still leaving my plans very open-ended, with an eye toward what will continue to deepen this process of unfolding that's going on within me. But, I also would like to check out some of the great practice spots here in California - since I'm here. Someone asked if I had "wanderlust," as I seem to be moving around a lot. Actually, I'd prefer to stay settled for maybe 6 months or a year or two. At the risk of sounding overly practical, what I'm really looking for is a place where I can get the most meditation for the longest amount of time at the lowest cost - simple economics. I thought that having good instruction and teachings would be important, but after the last few months, I realize that it's not totally essential for me, though definitely welcome. Quiet solitude is pretty essential though.

Well, I went by Spirit Rock this morning and saw the grounds, and even said "Hi" to Jack Kornfield (he said "Hi" back, and then went on his way). They have a stipend residential work position open that looks tempting, and I'll probably put in my resume just to see if I get a nibble. Spirit Rock is absolutely stunning! It's probably about as big as the Sattal Ashram, with excellent quiet nature, but less Indian tourists and chaos. Plus, it's actually used solely for Dharma practice (as the Sattal ashram was not). Definitely a 5 star retreat center, and it would be a beautiful place to live! Almost too beautiful!

Also, I ran into a Dharma friend who I've been corresponding with who is heading up to Abhayagiri monastery in Northern California in a couple weeks. I've been wanting to get up there as I've had a number of friends tell me about it now. But, I didn't know how I'd find a ride. F-A-T-E... wouldn't you know it? I get offered for a ride as soon as I ask. It's like magic. Since it's a monastery, I suppose there's always the off chance that I'll shave my head and won't come out. But, at any rate, it will be a wonderful opportunity.

I also would like to get down to Wat Metta in Southern California, and the new Goenka center near Sebastapol, and of course back to the North Fork Center to see the pagoda that's being built there too! There's a lot of Dharma in this region of the world, too much to even list it all here. Karma is good to me!

In addition, I'll be emptying my storage unit soon, so this all should keep me busy for a little while.

People are telling me that I seem pretty much like the same Daniel. I don't really feel the same (and as a wonderful monk in Korea once told me: "not a moment goes by that the mountain doesn't change.") But, I think I get the sentiment.

- Still Daniel

Sattal Retreat with OpenDharma.org

"Welcome to heaven... at least... looks like heaven to me." These were the first words from Ajay Singh, one of three instructors, at the start of my 40 day retreat.

It was the opening talk. We were cozily situated in the stunning hill-top chapel at Sattal Christian Ashram. Mattresses were strewn across the floor so that each person could sit or lie down as ever they found most comfortable. Many were already lying down (including myself) and already deeply content. A soft breeze passed through the spacious windows which opened out to views of lush forest and green mountains. A large but simple wooden cross stood behind the three instructors, and only added to the peace and beauty of the space. With forty days ahead of us, there was a feeling of having all the time in the world. And in between the words, the only sound which could be heard was the gentle songs of the local birds - like a welcoming chorus from our hosts.

Yes, it looks like Heaven to me too!

The other two instructors were Jaya and Jess, and each brought a different face to the Dharma. I'm sure I can't do them justice, but I'll still attempt a short description.

Ajay comes from Lucknow, India. His joy is incredibly infectious, and there is nothing more fun than watching him break into a fit of laughter so strong that his eyes begin to water and he can no longer speak. His teachings are simple, and his favorite way to teach seems to be in translating some of his most loved Hindu texts for us. For the first 10 days, he read from Kabir, and for the last 30 days he read from the Yoga Vashishta.

Jaya comes from North Carolina, but calls home to both India and Spain. Her two year old son may have also been called a teacher as his presence brought a certain innocence to the retreat. What I remember most about Jaya is that on two random occasions I happened to make eye contact with her. Both occasions were of the nature that they could've been on of those awkward retreat moments where you end up communicating, but not sure if you're supposed to communicate, but not really sure what you're communicating, and not sure why you're even looking anyway. But, no. Instead, it happened in those moments that I was smiling, and so was she. And, it was just the most natural meeting of smiles and meeting of eyes that seemed to have a flavor of knowing to it - like what was expressed in the moment was just known very deeply without words. Or then again, maybe it was just a smile.

Jess comes from Australia and she brought a lot of enthusiasm to the retreat. I spoke with her in a couple of personal interviews and felt the warm support of a good friend. She also gave a radiant and brilliantly alive discourse on women, the feminine, tantra, and spirituality which led to some pretty wild dreams for me that night!

None of the teachers were Christian, of course, so the Jesus paraphernalia of the ashram brought it's own energy as well. In fact, on Day 15, we were asked to move out of the chapel and into a small barn to continue our questionable non-sectarian practices.

The schedule was pretty relaxed for the first ten days, and even more relaxed for the thirty after that. For me, it involved a lot of lying around. Also, occasional events were organized like a group walk through the hills, or singing in the hall every few nights. It was like my dream summer camp: A beautiful swimming lake, hiking, lying around, listening to good Dharma, and best of all - no talking!

There were also three meals a day provided of delicious Indian food.

The encouragement to meditate in the lying posture is somewhat unique to Open Dharma and what a treat! I can't say that it ever led to "Sloth, Torpor, and Laziness" as the strict Buddhists would claim. Too bad for them.

The ashram itself is on 340 acres of land and includes access to two lakes, one of which I swam in every other day. The other lake we took a boat ride on, on day 38. There were both brown and grey monkeys, dozens of birds (including parrots, eagles, and something that looked like Toucan Sam meets Woody the Woodpecker!) and even leopards, though no leopards were spotted by any of the retreatants. The huts were comfortable and reminiscent of an old Austrian monastery with stone and concrete walls and aging wooden furniture.

Living forty days with a group of people without talking can be quite an intense and also intimate experience. I felt a deep connection with everyone there even if I didn't say anything to them. In fact, I think the crowd was one of the most enjoyable of any retreat I've done so far - perhaps because of the level of commitment it takes to travel to India and spend 40 days of your life in silence.

I'm not sure if they will be doing this retreat again (given the situation with the chapel) but if so, I hope I can attend.

As always, I've posted my photos from Sattal in my Picasa album, but for more photos, you can see the album of my friend Dave (another American) who has also posted his photos online (some are shown here.)

Goenka's Dehra Dun Vipassana Center

I almost punched a monk. Well, not really, but the thought did cross my mind.

If you've been reading this far, you may notice that India and I have had our differences. And, maybe I've been a little hard on Mother India at times. So, without the harshness (and without punching anyone) I'll take this opportunity to celebrate the differences before I leave tomorrow.

I'll start by commending the tolerant meditators who patiently waited in line for every meal. This is the first and only time I've actually seen people stand in line in India. Beautiful! The only two men who cut in line were the two Hindu Sadhus (monks). I understand that probably there is some tradition behind this behavior, but I wondered why a monk wouldn't want to wait like us common folk. Do they have a busy schedule to attend to?

The dish washing station, however, was typical Indian chaos and this is where the fateful run-in went down. Being the irreverent westerner that I am, I was practicing non-cooperation with the pushing and crowding at the dish station (ala Ghandi's Satiyagraha). Instead, I decided to calmly wait for an opening to appear. The monk wasn't having it, though, and finding my presence to be quite an obstruction, he broke the rule of "no physical contact at the center" to push me aside and jump on the next available sink. I will admit, I got angry, but that's just par for the course.

To quickly contrast with California, people there have been known to freak out even if they see people shaking hands or (god forbid) hugging at the center! In fact, on the last day of this retreat some of the younger Indian men gave each other so much physical contact that it would appear to most Westerners as quite sexual.

My first impression of center (officially named Dhamma Salila) was that of a labor camp. Rules were posted quite prominently, the assistant teacher was commanding with his instructions, and the bells were rung loudly. It looked quite oppressive and not in line with a path of compassion and wisdom. So, for the first two days I contemplated an escape. But, eventually I came to realize that no one would follow the rules well anyway and it was mostly just a show. My observation is that Indian's firstly are so saturated with spirituality already, and secondly they tend toward a sheep and shepherd mentality with their "guru," so this may explain the extra hoo-haa about discipline.

To add to the chaos, there was a group of young men attending who weren't really there of their own free will. The Suriya Foundation (manufacturers of light bulbs, etc.) apparently includes a Goenka course as a mandatory part of their job training program - No course, no job! This bathc of trainees had all recently completed graduate degrees and were in training for management positions. Their three month, 24 hour per day training program also included a seven day naturopathy fast! Once trained and secure in their job, these bachelors would then e ready to settle into an arranged marriage. It all seemed like a Eastern version of the 1950's American dream.

There were almost 30 of them and none seemed to have gotten much from the course. A few, at least, said that they might want to come back some day on their own to really give it a fair trial.

There was, thus, a large range in the level of seriousness of the students. At the end, people came to tell me, "you were 100% committed. I only gave maybe 70-80%," and other such comments. Who knew there was a ranking system? I actually was pretty disciplined, except with regards to lying down and sleeping. These two activities seem to help my meditation a lot.

Dhamma Salila was much smaller than the California Vipassana Center, but the California one is known as one of the largest and most comfy. In Dehra Dun, they do have the addition of a pagoda, and this got me excited. It's a building with many small (3ft. X 6ft.) cells for isolated meditation.

My cell in the pagoda faced in on the center cell which (I dare say) had a creepy resemblence to a peep show somehwere in San Francisco. The middle cell of the entire circular complex had a white thrown where I image only teachers are allowed to sit. I didn't have to put quarters in to see, though, I just looked through the small metal grated vent at the bottom of the door separating our two cells. Other than this, I found it to be quite a tranquil place, perhaps like a holding cell on the spaceship of some advanced alien race. It was painted white with a small dome at the top where light would shine in. The best time for the pagoda was about 4:30am-5:30am when it was pitch black, and very queit.

The food was good too, and rumored to be better than other Indian centers.

I couldn't imagine if this had been my first Goenka course. I think the Indian idosyncracies would have broken me. And, I don't know if I'll do another Goenka retreat in India.

Overall, the experience was just beautiful. Dhamma Salila is on the bank of a small river (which you must wade through on your way out,) and there are a number of mango trees and a tall banyan tree on the property. They run the courses on about $3 per person per day which is impressive. And, I should say that I met some incredibly friendly and delightful people - despite the cultural differences and the repetitive "What's your name? Where are you from? What do you do for a living?" May they all grow in Dhamma.

Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam. Be happy.

Readers Write: Compassion in The World

I've been writing some long email responses to some of the readers of my blog (ie. friends and family), and since I already did the writing, I figured I could put some of it here (edited some) and share the message with everyone. Hopefully I won't upset those who wrote to me. This one's from my Dad. He writes:

Hi Daniel,
Happy Losar – belatedly.

...Here is something you can find when you look up the city on Wikipedia: "Dharamshala" is a Hindi word (derived from Sanskrit) that is a compound of dharma and shālā . An approximate translation into English would be 'spiritual dwelling' or, more loosely, 'sanctuary'.

Cool! I just read that the Dalai Lama's ideal goal for Tibet would be that it becomes a "global peace sanctuary!" A place for human's and animal's to live simply, compassionately, and at peace. I love that idea!

...On Saturday at a dinner, I sat across from a fellow who talked about being red-green color blind which got me thinking about that feature again. I wonder how you see the myriad colors of India. Your photos are wonderful. I found a web site that simulates different color blindness visions

I loaded the image, 17th_karmapa_funny_face_losar.jpg, into the simulator and tried the different options. Tibetan red is a nice dark color; good contrasts. When you get back maybe you can help me see as you see. At any rate, in any hue rendering your photos are wonderful.

Thanks. Nothing like some fatherly appreciation!

Yesterday on the radio I heard a piece on the new Delhi ragpickers. Trash pickup is being privatized and at the moment is displacing ragpickers with private contractors – there are hopefully fixes to get the ragpickers employed or running such businesses. One person interviewed used to make 360 rupees a day and could afford to send his kids to school. Now he makes 100 rupees a day and has his whole family helping him. I think 100 rupees is about $2 a day. Yipes.

I have been reading an India atlas and looking up information on Bihar. Last year was a horrible drought year e.g. "With crops failing, 3.3 mn people in Bihar risk death by hunger" November 30th, 2009 ICT by IANS By Sahil Makkar. And, another article: "Even after 50 years of planned development more than half of the population of Bihar are classified as poor. According to All India Statistical Data 1999-2000, 54.63% of total population of Bihar survive in absolute poverty i.e., they are living below poverty line. It means, they do not even receive the minimum basic needs of livelihood." I realize it must be a painful experience, but you are really there in the middle of this intractable situation.

Bihar was incredibly poor, yes. It was announced during the retreat that on one very cold night in Bodh Gaya, 4 villagers had died of the cold. Too poor for proper warmth and shelter.

I am glad you saw the Dalai Lama. He is full of joy and good sense. I think about what it is like to struggle for justice for your whole life time. You know you will not succeed in your lifetime. And still to have such joy, humor, practicality, and intensity of purpose. I think he is one of the most remarkable people in the world. And, he was tapped for the job. He did not fill out an application. But he stepped up to the job.

Love,
Dad

About the Dalai Lama, I totally agree with you, and it has been a wonderful experience both to see him, and to see the impact he's had on the people of this village. On the flip side, I have been exploring another issue which is the issue of "spiritual celebrity." I heard it said by one teacher in the west that we (as westerners) don't know how to deal with the concept of a "guru" or a spiritual teacher. We don't have a good model for it. (Probably there are lots of poor models for it worldwide, but specifically speaking about the west...) We have preachers, and we have the pope. But, perhaps more influential, we have celebrities! And, so, this teacher was suggesting that a lot of people who want to live a good life may fall back on the celebrity model when they don't know what else to do.

I think it'd be a shame to say that the love of the Dalai Lama for the Tibetan people is any better or more important or more dazzling than say the love of a mother for her child, or the love of a child for bananas! I'm not saying that you were suggesting such a hierarchy, Dad, but this aura of celebrity does seem to surround the Dalai Lama, and I think it's disempowering for the heart of the individual. Anyway, enough said about that.

Thanks for sharing, Dad, and I hope you don't mind me passing on the message with others.

Taking Action with Karma Yoga

A poor child begs for food. A crippled man lies on the muddy road. A dying puppy shivers...

One can't fully engage in an exploration of India without feeling some sense that something needs to be done.

Karma Yoga: the path to divine union through worldly action. This is one of the practices given a big emphasis at the recent Dharma gatherings that I've attended. And the teachers don't just preach, they walk the talk too.

In Bodh Gaya, we were invited for a closer look at some of the charity work that Christopher Titmuss and friends have started over the last 36 years.

The afternoon after the end of the Bodh Gaya retreat, a group of us went to the nearby Prajna Vihar School. Every year, the school puts on a dance recital with performances from all grades - one through ten - for the benefit of the co-founders (including Christopher, and a big-hearted catholic nun from India named Sister Mary.) There is a video of the school online, if you want to see more. It is an inter-religious school for the poorest of the poor children in Bodh Gaya.

The dance recital was great fun, and a couple of the kids had some real talent! They were all very cute. The whole event ended with the Indian national anthem, and then a Bhangra dance party.

Only $40 (US) pays for one child's education for an entire year. There is very little infrastructure, no middle man, and the money goes right to the school. So, it's worth mentioning that if you have $40 to spare, then you can practice your Karma Yoga too. Info about donating is on their website.

We were also introduced to some other organizations: People First International, and also a young man who uses his physical therapy skills to help victims of polio in the village.

The next day, we came back for a tour into the nearby village land, to see some of the work that Sister Mary does through her organization, The Center for Women's Awakening.

Four Jeeps drove us to the outskirts of town where first we visited a small coaching center where local girls received tutoring for their high school certificates. Two girls had already gotten high school certificates and a handful more were working their way through the program.

Next, Sister Mary took us to the home of a local woman where we had a little cultural exchange gathering with about 30 local village women. It was a typical lower class village and the women told us that a typical wage might be about $2.00 (US) for work in the fields.

This small local women's movement was growing in strength. They were smiling over a small victory - they no longer refer to their husbands by the Hindi term that translates to "husband-god." They dropped the "god" and seemed quite happy about that.

When Sister Mary asked if any of them could read or write, about 4 of the women raised their hands with big grins. Apparently, these women were recently taught to write their names for the bank, and that was it.


Most of us agreed that despite the harsh conditions, these villagers had a certain dignity in their clay huts that was missing from the trash and cement of the city.

So, where to start with all the problems to solve? Throughout it all, I still feel my calling for solitude right now. I know the action will come. I'm taking one small action just writing this to you now. And, perhaps it fuels your karma yoga as well. From the stillness comes action, and in the action comes stillness. Now is my time for quiet retreat (rather than down and dirty action), but perhaps I can simply walk through the world just a little more open, a little more ready to share a smile. The little bits add up.

The photos are from the various outings, if you point your mouse over the photo, you can read the caption for each one. Enjoy!

Mother India, Please Take A Bath

I'd like a moment to just be frank with you, India. You're dirty and you stink.

I remember people telling me all this before I left the US. One friend told me how he had to throw out his girlfriend's clothes after her return from India, because they couldn't get the smell out.

I heard the stories, but found it hard to imagine the smell. So, let me give a brief description for your nostrils.

The first thing to hit your nose as you step off the airplane might be a warm dusty staleness with a hint of various fossil fuels. As the taxi pulls away, the exhaust fumes of traffic will ripen on the palate with more heat, sweat, and perhaps something burning nearby. Driving past a creek or river (which is really more of a garbage swamp) you'll get your first taste of rotting funk. The pungent swampy pile will reek of urine and feces (both human and animal), and possibly a dead carcass, along with rotting food and trash.

And then the real pièce de résistance, the completion of the fine bouquet: Burning Plastic! Especially in the mornings and evenings when small rubbish fires light up on nearly every street corner to burn whatever will burn. And what burns easier than plastic?! However, you can rest assured that whatever plastic doesn't get burned might be swallowed by the cow who provided your fresh yogurt lassi.

By the time the small beggar child with runny nose walks up and sneezes on you or coughs on you, you may be ready to sew your mouth and nose closed and never take another breath.

This really only leaves the occasional scent of fresh spices steaming out of an Indian kitchen. This will either be a small blessing from the Divine, or a torture when the next waft of burning plastic hits your lungs.

I haven't stopped coughing since I arrived, so I'm now going for refuge in the holy dust mask.

Maybe this paints a more vivid picture to bring a little bit of India to you.

There are some people doing something about it. I met one dedicated woman from Sacred Earth Trust (sacredearthtrust.org) She is working hard to clean up Bodh Gaya. And, I've also been inspired by the story of Veer Bhadra Mishra who has made it his life's work to clean up the Ganges river.