More Mandalas

I was playing around on Photoshop yesterday and got really into making some mandalas. Here's the result of my work.

Flower Art #1



Flower Mandala #1



Forest Mandala #1

A Row Boat to Nowhere

"Truth be told, I don't really care.... 'cause we're all on a boat to nowhere." - Adyashanti

I had a friend visit me in Felton last week, and we listened to some Adyashanti together. I think we both agreed that the above quote was one of our favorites from what we listened to. Although I don't remember getting on this boat of life, I'm really enjoying my ride to nowhere, and I hope you are too.

It seems I've started to get into my rhythm now with my new California life. And even though I'm not going to be traveling again anytime soon, I must say that I enjoy my weekly drives through the redwoods of the Santa Cruz Mountains down the coast to the rolling hills and flat fields of Wattsonville's farmland and then up the east side of the bay to Berkeley and the wooded hills of Montclaire.

On the meditation front, I continue to learn about myself and about what it means to be human. I had some really intense dreams last night, many of which were quite lucid. At one point, I found myself in a room, but quite certain that it was a dream. I couldn't recall what my actual waking life room looked like, but knew that I was in a dream room instead. It was quite real however, and quite lucid - as real as any dream usually is. So, I began contemplating, "this is all a mental creation. I'm creating all of this right now. There is no substance to it, and no existence to it outside of my mind." It was cool to experience something so real and so external, yet to know it as pure mental formation... fabrication. It was vibrating and morphing quite a bit, as dreams usually do, but I just stayed in that dream room in fascination and awe. There was another dream in which I saw my own face, and I was speaking the words coming out of it, and thinking it's thoughts, but clearly observing it as "me outside of me" - all still quite lucid that this was conscious dream creation.

Like I said, it was a wild night. Recently, a friend suggested I write about my dreams here, so there ya go. Remaining conscious, mindful, and aware throughout the dream state definitely seems like a meditation for me, however I don't put too much importance into the content. Preferably, I would simply try to observe the physical and mental sensations that make up the dream-state itself, while allowing meaning to arise naturally if and when it may arise.

I'm planning to take the next couple days for meditation retreat at home here, so I'll be off-grid until Friday.

Be well.

ps. the photo above is the chair on my porch where I do meditation, eat meals, or just sit and listen to the birds.

"Trees and Vines..." - Ajahn Chah

"Trees and Vines can reveal the nature of reality to us. With wisdom there is no need to question anyone, no need to study. We can learn everything from Nature to be enlightened."

- Ajahn Chah
(quote painted on wood and nestled trail-side in the hills at Abhayagiri Monastery)

My India Mandalas

I drew these two Mandalas during my last couple days in India. I thought it'd be a nice way to capture the essence of my four month India experience. I can't say there's any "meaning" to them, but I can say that when I drew them I was really feeling the depth of my experience in that moment. Anyway, it's nice to show a little more of my artwork here.

India Mandala #1



India Mandala #2

The City of Ten Thousand Buddhas

I feel blessed that I got to tag along with Robert as he gave a ride for Ajahn Amaro on the way out of the Monastery last week. Ajahn Amaro is the big cheese for Western Theravada Buddhism in the tradition of Ajahn Chah and the Thai lineage. He is moving to England soon to be the Abbot of Amaravati Monastery - the center branch of this school of Buddhism. He is incredibly highly regarded amongst monks and lay people alike. Robert referred to him as one of the best "monk trainers" around, and having met the monks he has trained, I'd have to agree.

Ajahn Amaro needed a ride to Novato, with a quick stop at The City of Ten Thousand Buddhas on the way out of town. The City of Ten Thousand Buddhas ("The City") is the largest Buddhist monastery in all of North America! Cool! Who knew I would get a chance to visit! It's from the Chinese lineage of Master Hua who developed quite a following in his lifetime. There are a couple hundred permanent residents in the city, about a third of whom are monks and nuns.

Ajahn Amaro was giving the keynote address at the graduation ceremony for Developing Virtue Boy's Secondary School. The City runs 5 different schools for a few lucky children who get an education based on virtue and goodness more so than book smarts and the ability to pass a test. From the brief glimpse of the graduating class, it did look like these boys had been instilled with virtue. The City is bilingual (Mandarin and English) which seems to cause some challenges of communication, but it still seems to be thriving, and one of the speakers at the graduation was an successful alumni who still comes back to give his time to The City.

Inside the main Dhamma Hall of The City of Ten Thousand Buddhas - you guessed it - Ten Thousand Buddhas! If you look close at the photos, the walls are stacked with small Buddha statues, each one carved by Master Hua himself. Ten thousand in all, believe it or not. The property itself used to be a home for the criminally insane, and the Dhamma Hall is actually the old gymnasium for the insane asylum. Once you walk inside, all of that is forgotten, and the peace and sense of community is immediately apparent.

Some buildings are a bit creepy still, but spiced up a bit with cute street names like "Joyous Way."

Ajahn Amaro's talk was inspiring and to the point. He made a cool suggestion that might be good for young boys (or for any of us for that matter.) His suggestion: If you can't keep up your 2 hours of chanting and meditation each morning, take on something more bite-sized. Try just to spend at least an hour per day doing only one thing. Not skyping while texting while emailing while listening to music while tevo-ing while eating chips, etc... Rather, if you're emailing for an hour - just do your email - and nothing else. Brilliant! Mono-tasking! I don't know if it would sell on Wall Street, but who cares.

The car ride back with the Ajahn was also fun as we had a chance to talk casually about some other topics of life. I don't remember much of the conversation, but I do remember him as a very enjoyable and wise man. May he have safe travels to England and a smooth transition into his new position there.

Staying at Abhayagiri Forest Monastery

Following the tradition of many Thai Buddhist Forest Monks of the past, a small group (mostly westerners) is living and practicing in the hills outside of Ukiah, CA. They call their sanctuary Abhayagiri Monastery. I've known about this place for a couple years now, but seeing how Ukiah isn't the most accessible place to travel to without a car, I had to wait for a ride. Luck had it that a friend, Robert, was going my way. In fact, he was giving a ride to a couple of the head-honcho monks at the monastery (more on that in a bit.)

The schedule is the same everyday at the monastery. Robert said "like Groundhog's Day." Yup. And, it was surprisingly a lot of work. It's not meant to be a retreat center, though... so it's not a like a nap in the park. Other than helping with dishes after every meal, and cleaning the toilet in the morning, I also was asked to do a couple of hours of trail maintenance work in the morning between breakfast and lunch. I got my workout! My back and shoulders were sore for a few days from all the swinging of a pick-axe.

After lunch, personal time begins, and I made use of it to sit in my humble cottage (called "The Bumblebee," and photo shown here) which was right next to a little babbling brook. My meditation practice was incredibly strong and deep, and I can't help but think that it was in part from the powerful energy of this monastery. From the moment I got there, I felt the peace overcome me. And, I had a wild dream on my second night there in which the entire universe exploded into shimmering lights of bliss, and I could see with incredible perspective on the total totalness of existence. It was cool, although I don't want to make too much a big deal out of it. The next day it was back to shoveling and breaking rocks. A flickering moment in time.

The trails (of which I helped work on) run for miles around the hills, which are mostly steep so provide ample exercise. I spent my last day running around taking photos and checking out the nooks and crannies.

They also have a pretty stellar library with a wide selection of Buddhist books and also some poetry, psychology, and even a cool book on old school etiquette.

The etiquette is another important point. When I first heard about Abhayagiri, my friend told me, "they are so careful with their vinaya there, it's impressive." The Vinaya is the monastic code of 227 rules governing all manners of morality and etiquette. I didn't really think that this could be impressive until I saw it! Yes, it is impressive!

It's not that they have really good rules, or that they are really good at keeping people from breaking the rules, or anything like that. In fact, most of the time it doesn't even feel like they are "rules" at all. Rather, it feels like an incredibly conscious community in which the monks take such care in all their actions. And with meticulous care, they cultivate a lifestyle which is incredibly pleasant to be around, peaceful, and joyful. Sure, there were a couple who seemed a little over-the-top with it, kinda like trying to be "good boy scouts." But, for the most part, it didn't seem contrived, forced, or oppressive at all. In fact, it felt freeing, open, and spacious. And, so many smiles too! The monks smile a lot.

The food is all donated (alms food), and it's not entirely vegetarian. The feast was quite large on Friday (the lunar celebration day) and I always made away with some very tasty dishes on my plate. Part of the practice is to only eat for health and not for pleasure, but it's a little counter-productive with all the cookies and dumplings, etc.

I made some good friends while there, and really enjoyed the company. I can see what a magnet this place must be for those who are willing to take the time to seek out such rare sanctuaries like this. I got to hear a couple short Dhamma talks from Ajahn Amaro and Ajahn Sucitto - two highly regarded long-time monks. The Dhamma talks brought me joy.

One reason I went was to see if I might someday want to become a monk. I must say that the trip brought me mixed thoughts on the topic. On one hand, I found the rules and monastic discipline to be more inspiring than what I'd thought. Also, the monk lifestyle seemed beautiful and very tempting. So, in some sense, I'm more interested now than before. While on the other hand, there was some thing about it also which pushed me away (and I'm not sure I can put my finger on it.) One of my friends noted that I'm a little too raw and unrefined for monastic life, and I think that may be it. I'm not a very "traditional" kind of guy, and I'm not a very good "Buddhist" either. But, we'll see. I have no idea what my future holds. I'm starting to think that I like my future like I like my coffee - with nothing in the cup. (I don't like coffee.)

I only stayed at Abhayagiri for three nights, as this was the plan with Robert and his driving schedule, and they limit your first stay to seven days max, anyway. I would like to go back at some point and stay for a longer time, perhaps. But, I'll be sure to be ready for some work!

First Batch of Pesto

All settled in and back to work, I'm finding my pace here in Felton, CA. I made my first batch of summer pesto, and it's delicious! (Maybe a little too much Parmesan, as it's got bite.)

I've also got my stuff from storage and having an emotional ride going through all those memories and working on my discard pile.

I had planned to take time while here in this peaceful forest setting to do as much meditation as possible (yes... I'm still blabbing on about meditation, but that is the point of this blog). I just took the last two days on retreat here, just for meditation. It was a bit of a struggle, but a fruitful use of time. After a nightmare on Wednesday night about a cobra, I decided to make an offering of incense to the forest creatures the next day. I think if I'm taking refuge in their forest home as a bit of an uninvited guest, then I ought to do my best to win them over. May it be a sanctuary of peace for all those who wish to pass their days in these woods.

Work seems to be going well, and if anyone wants to visit me: I'll be at the Downtown Berkeley Farmer's Market on Saturdays, and the Montclair (Oakland hills) Farmer's Market on Sundays. See you there!

Time to go now and cook up some beets. 'Til next time.

Meditate... Do Not Delay.

"What should be done for his disciples out of compassion by a teacher who seeks their welfare and has compassion for them, that I have done for you, bhikkhus. There are these roots of trees, these empty huts. Meditate, bhikkhus, do not delay or else you will regret it later. This is our instruction to you."

- The Buddha

(Etched into a stone that lies among the hills at Abhayagiri Monastery)

IMC Dharma Talk with Gil Fronsdal

Last Monday, on my way up to Abhayagiri, I finally had a chance to stop in at the Insight Meditation Center, in Redwood City, CA. I'd been wanting to go to an event there for a while, since I've known many people who have attended classes and talks there and spoke highly of it. And it is Maria's (my stepmom) local Sangha in which she is very actively participating.

We sat for 45 minutes in meditation, and this was followed by a 45 minute question and answer period with Gil. As always, it was nice to have a group of people to sit with, and it was also nice to hear Gil field the questions. I don't remember much of the questions, but I know I had a good time. Gil has a very easy going demeanor and made some funny comments. One funny moment was when someone asked about all the "shoulds" in her life. She wanted to get away from all the shoulds. Gil was sure to point out that we don't need to eliminate the word "should" from the English language (although it can be quite oppressive for some). As an example, he said "If you want to go to pee, you should go to the bathroom... at least at IMC, you should... we have carpets!"

I think it's cool how Gil seems to be able to touch many people worldwide through his Audio Dharma, and other such resources. But, also the community has a very local feel to it. Those living close by could be quite grateful to have such a lively and supportive group.

I hope I'll have a chance to go back at some point, especially if Maria gives another talk there sometime, which I'd love to attend.

I'm writing a little something about my trip to the Monastery, too. I'll post it here with all my photos when I get a free moment (I'm a working man now, so not as much time! - but the job is also going well.)

Right now, I'm on my way to my storage unit to get everything out. Soon, I'll be giving most of the stuff away, or selling it. I can feel the fears and the clinging coming up as I consider getting rid of my "stuff." But... it's just "stuff," and it will be nice to know that I'm no longer holding a random closet full of junk hostage in Tracy, CA.

Cup of Chowda!

I was in the Boston area last weekend for Memorial Day, a family gathering, and my grandfather's memorial service. I posted the photos to my picasa album, so take a look! I'm back on my laptop and using Adobe's Lightroom to make my photos even cooler now (though I am slightly color blind, so please excuse any color abnormalities).

While on the East Coast, I got to see Lexington, Concord, Boston, Harvard, Cambridge, and of course, my mom's home town... Berlin, Massachusetts!

There's not much history of meditation or Buddhism in those parts, but I did pass very near to Walden Pond. H.D. Thoreau is a big inspiration for my recent decisions on where I would live and work for the next few months. While I was there, my mom picked up a book of Thoreau quotes and flipped to the following quote. It's from Walden, which has always been a favorite book of mine, and this particular passage really captured my sentiments well:

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
- Henry David Thoreau, Walden

I'm not going full wilderness comando style, but I do intend to live simply.

I really enjoyed seeing my family again. Most of them I hadn't seen in more than 15 years. And you know what... I really like them.

My uncle David said I'm "all religious." That gave me a good laugh.

As we were leaving, a man at the airport reminded us not to mistake the Bostonian "chaa-da" for "chow-da." The first referring to a charter flight (Chaa-da), and the second referring to a good cup of clam chowder (chow-da). Remember that.

Best Pay Cut Of My Life

As the future unfolds before me, it looks like I'll be heading back to the simple life. There's a 90% chance that I'm going to be going back to work for my long time friends at Happy Boy Farms - selling the freshest and most delicious organic fruits and vegetables!

If I take the job, I'll be making about 3 times less than I made teaching workshops and seminars, 10 times less than I made doing private coaching, and about 40 times less than what I could make if I followed some of my friends into the marijuana growing business. Uh oh, I said "marijuana" so I better explain. Well, these days, it's possible to grow marijuana "legally" through the legal loopholes in California. I've met a number of people who do it, and they make a ton of very real money. But, I didn't want to compromise myself for money. I didn't want to compromise myself for anything in this vast world of abundance we live in. In fact, not only will I be making less money than all these other opportunities, but I'll even be making $2 per hour less than when I had the same job five years ago!

So, why is it the best pay cut of my life? Because it's an absolute joy to give up the extra money in exchange for the perfect job for me right now. If all goes as planned, I'll work Saturday and Sunday every week (for about 10-12 hours per day). Then, I'll take Monday and Friday as days for personal errands (email, etc.). And, I can take Tuesday through Thursday to spend on personal meditation retreat (at home, no phone, no email, nothing but me and the redwoods)

And, that brings me to the next point - I'll be living in the Redwoods! I don't think I've ever found the Buddha anywhere more than in Redwood trees. My mom will hopefully be generous enough to let me stay in her cabin up here in Felton, CA (where I am now). In fact, I just spent yesterday, all day, in meditation here and I loved it! It's so quiet, and so peaceful, and so alive. A cabin in the woods - my dream come true.

I always loved working for Happy Boy Farms too. I really think that eating fresh local organic produce is one of the most important things any of us can do for our planet and our bodies. I don't think the ecological and health benefits of this simple act can be understated, and it seems like a very important task to help bring the food from the farms to people's homes. It's a simple job, but one of the very crucial ones in our society, I believe.

Not to mention the perks - free veggies!

It's generally a seasonal job, as most of the Farmer's Markets will end come wintertime. So, in November I'll have a chance to move on with my journey.

I'm planning to work this Sunday at one of the San Francisco markets and see how it goes. Next week, I'll be up at Abhayagiri Monastery for a few days, and then back to work again. I'm sure I'll keep posting on how it all goes.

I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.
- Henry David Thoreau

Back from the East Coast

I'm back from spending Memorial Day weekend in Massachusetts. It was great to see my family, and perhaps I'll say a bit more about that at some point. Now, I'm in Felton (near Santa Cruz) and working out my next plans. It's beautiful here in the Redwoods, and there's a good chance I'll be staying a while to do some meditation at my mom's house here.

Cabin in the woods - it's a dream come true.

I hope to post more soon to keep the blog going.