tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85753448760491751862024-03-05T17:33:15.278-08:00Bhavana TravelerJournaling My Life of Meditation and TravelDaniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.comBlogger100125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-68967823278874519762016-03-17T14:41:00.001-07:002016-03-17T14:42:01.859-07:00Attadiipaa Sutta: An Island to Oneself (SN 22.43)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.043.wlsh.html">Attadiipaa Sutta: An Island to Oneself </a><br />
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Here is a translation of the sutta, and a nice little photo that I made for it...<br />
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"Monks, be islands unto yourselves,<a class="noteTag" href="http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.043.wlsh.html#fn-1" id="fnt-1">[1]</a>
be your own refuge, having no other; let the Dhamma be an island and a
refuge to you, having no other. Those who are islands unto themselves...
should investigate to the very heart of things:<a class="noteTag" href="http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.043.wlsh.html#fn-2" id="fnt-2">[2]</a> 'What is the source of sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief and despair? How do they arise?' [<i>What is their origin?</i>]<br />
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"Here, monks, the uninstructed worldling [<i>continued as in <a href="http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.007.wlsh.html">SN 22.7</a>.</i>]
Change occurs in this man's body, and it becomes different. On account
of this change and difference, sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief and
despair arise. [<i>Similarly with</i> 'feelings,' 'perceptions,' 'mental formations,' 'consciousness'].<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLIuLg9yVAj0WWQutdS-L1S_vLdYPj7z3Lp2mLeP82MPdIKuY_dQhLrgYhDQm1HqEREEgWe5t2Qp_uax5i5eVpF6JjJcfpgATCniBab3-H9VbQvqgACjLblEBZdRvP_YvhGwRnY9PmTemj/s1600/SN+22+43.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Attadiipaa Sutta: An Island to Oneself" border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLIuLg9yVAj0WWQutdS-L1S_vLdYPj7z3Lp2mLeP82MPdIKuY_dQhLrgYhDQm1HqEREEgWe5t2Qp_uax5i5eVpF6JjJcfpgATCniBab3-H9VbQvqgACjLblEBZdRvP_YvhGwRnY9PmTemj/s400/SN+22+43.jpg" title="Attadiipaa Sutta: An Island to Oneself" width="400" /></a></div>
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"But seeing<a class="noteTag" href="http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.043.wlsh.html#fn-3" id="fnt-3">[3]</a> the body's impermanence, its change-ability, its waning,<a class="noteTag" href="http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.043.wlsh.html#fn-4" id="fnt-4">[4]</a>
its ceasing, he says 'formerly as now, all bodies were impermanent and
unsatisfactory, and subject to change.' Thus, seeing this as it really
is, with perfect insight, he abandons all sorrow, lamentation, pain,
grief and despair. He is not worried at their abandonment, but unworried
lives at ease, and thus living at ease he is said to be 'assuredly
delivered.'"<a class="noteTag" href="http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.043.wlsh.html#fn-5" id="fnt-5">[5]</a> [<i>Similarly with</i> 'feelings,' 'perceptions,' 'mental formations,' 'consciousness'].</div>
Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-36736893205625404112016-03-17T07:06:00.003-07:002016-03-17T07:07:03.501-07:00Self Love (S.i, 75; Ud. 47)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I visited all quarters with my mind<br />
Nor found I any dearer than myself;<br />
Self is likewise to every other dear;<br />
Who loves himself will never harm another.<br />
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- Buddha (S.i, 75; Ud. 47)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDbQELcPHNZx9tSm8-7EN_iuKfLTDmYhXL2E5RDoysW77BsmvL8zJTkjuyX2Fj6P-DKpPL3oeChNMHKranLTpftDVkTGqZAr1D9T1Ag3XxpGZzWcR0aOpKVdIrn7D7J0PNpMuXQYJK6Ah0/s1600/self+love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Buddha (S.i, 75; Ud. 47)" border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDbQELcPHNZx9tSm8-7EN_iuKfLTDmYhXL2E5RDoysW77BsmvL8zJTkjuyX2Fj6P-DKpPL3oeChNMHKranLTpftDVkTGqZAr1D9T1Ag3XxpGZzWcR0aOpKVdIrn7D7J0PNpMuXQYJK6Ah0/s400/self+love.jpg" title="Buddha (S.i, 75; Ud. 47)" width="400" /></a></div>
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Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-8297434205493982162016-03-17T06:57:00.001-07:002016-03-17T06:59:56.071-07:00Five Factors of Speech (Anguttara Nikaya 5.198)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless and unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?</div>
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It is spoken at the right time.<br />
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It is spoken in truth.</div>
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It is spoken affectionately.</div>
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It is spoken beneficially.</div>
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It is spoken with a mind of good-will."</div>
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- Anguttara Nikaya 5.198 </div>
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(Translated from the Pali discourses of the Buddha)<br />
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<img alt="Anguttara Nikaya A.N. 5.198" border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9TVSkbj2CfCJy96MgHw7bqkXkukB7brdui3UV2kfOzKJ_xHW5vaT0qqcIabVBiepIt21F5zhTu29IG4p0eMLnsEe5Blxjx13C6t3s29QuPM-3ihvaVmG0YSYqHovJQso8v1Q0eRfmGEf2/s400/AN+5.jpg" title="Anguttara Nikaya 5.198" width="400" /></div>
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Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-86070040927595289692016-01-08T13:04:00.003-08:002016-01-08T13:07:38.670-08:00Quebec Vipassana Center - Dhamma Suttama<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qESGPSP0LpEe6ZEqdA2UQ5LTaoLGcEUfSKhn4X5efIFqXL3-zv8bo24qG4sbv2aP6o3PshHvnHjRpAmDTc1GgaKN58xlqQx3g3cpGMagypFFp9p_t5AdHWIK-NOU0Yf5hKtKOMnU0Exf/s1600/IMG_20150215_090907_650.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qESGPSP0LpEe6ZEqdA2UQ5LTaoLGcEUfSKhn4X5efIFqXL3-zv8bo24qG4sbv2aP6o3PshHvnHjRpAmDTc1GgaKN58xlqQx3g3cpGMagypFFp9p_t5AdHWIK-NOU0Yf5hKtKOMnU0Exf/s320/IMG_20150215_090907_650.jpg" width="320" /></a>Last winter there was a cold streak in February. It was cold. It was very cold. So, of course, I spent my time off work traveling north into Canada for a meditation retreat. The center is located between Ottawa and Montreal. The temperature hit 40 degrees below zero, Farenheit (though they used Celsius up there). I fulfilled my lifelong dream of having icicles grow from my beard.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheVb_UQN90ycQXR97XL5F_K1uEswifuyOaKm9UqWoFL46dLYMHR7noPTrgoUJfHf-NqTE_BuZbUDpcJaFQSvK0AoFjMv_F6itqhhVd_li2Im106GNMvTvmFej_xjEx3vE4L9f0Rz8nofb-/s1600/IMG_20150215_160415.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheVb_UQN90ycQXR97XL5F_K1uEswifuyOaKm9UqWoFL46dLYMHR7noPTrgoUJfHf-NqTE_BuZbUDpcJaFQSvK0AoFjMv_F6itqhhVd_li2Im106GNMvTvmFej_xjEx3vE4L9f0Rz8nofb-/s200/IMG_20150215_160415.jpg" width="200" /></a>The retreat was profound, as always, and I had so much delight in resting into that cold, snowy, pillowy paradise of the mind. Around day 8 or 9, I developed a high fever and strong cold. It was definitely the sickest I've ever been on retreat. It was a bit frustrating as my concentration diminished, and yet it was also very cool to observe the sensations of illness arising and passing within the framework of this body.<br />
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Illness is, of course, is one of the Buddhist foundations of human suffering (along with old age and death). These bodies that we have are so exposed to our environment that other creatures can come inside and live within our bodies. Sometimes such a "bug" makes us sick as the cellular defenses kick in. All of this arises and passes, arises and passes. What a joy to bare witness! What liberation comes from the equanimous mind.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAMrR3ilnTdZjV9bjIt2gNOLf2isebFyvvxoqnUBHLn_Dc9BjT_kmgOMmWQo79d_C4b8gofswbBJgjGWmi8xnjwerPzvS_tt0qsk52nwjj1L-N6Sfjh__kWuwzSKN9qusq65ZcNuGgUGcq/s1600/IMG_20150215_094457_283.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAMrR3ilnTdZjV9bjIt2gNOLf2isebFyvvxoqnUBHLn_Dc9BjT_kmgOMmWQo79d_C4b8gofswbBJgjGWmi8xnjwerPzvS_tt0qsk52nwjj1L-N6Sfjh__kWuwzSKN9qusq65ZcNuGgUGcq/s320/IMG_20150215_094457_283.jpg" width="180" /></a>I played in the snow, and sat plopped down in the fresh powdery dumps. Each day I took walks in the woods, allowing the stinging chill of the air to touch my lungs and wake me up to life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Frobk5dzpzseQEN0NsSPJ8QDhaX1i-XSWaABQ174tMe5nVa0HXCEvaKW-_dR5zF-HfIhYcng3cpU6AcbBY7Us3lFNLFPmYkAImV4xAK1RqcZUEd3iQhyphenhyphenvoXd-1oV5EkNnwYP8gIzKsp6/s1600/IMG_20150215_094601_369.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Frobk5dzpzseQEN0NsSPJ8QDhaX1i-XSWaABQ174tMe5nVa0HXCEvaKW-_dR5zF-HfIhYcng3cpU6AcbBY7Us3lFNLFPmYkAImV4xAK1RqcZUEd3iQhyphenhyphenvoXd-1oV5EkNnwYP8gIzKsp6/s320/IMG_20150215_094601_369.jpg" width="180" /></a>The accommodations were quite enjoyable (and warm on the inside). The center has a unique quality in that the men and women are completely segregated throughout the entire meditation retreat. There are even two separate meditation halls. I found this to be a diminishment of the meditation experience. I understand that mixed gender meditations can be a distraction for many, but I think the added presence of having more meditators sharing a common space is far greater than whatever distractions they meant to avoid. It was a strange the way I knew the women were on retreat also, yet I could barely feel their presence.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRwxsMol7kJmtq33ak7pP8AV4OJXrjedT5MPJ9dLjVGHF1sQCBIgmRpanTP5KatJ1mjMLuj9aI3kkvjbpQ5_cfWzx1iH4JBqxtpeh4YUPFGoJNoEnDFUG7caTP-VBRBHXziX1Dq19fNVDV/s1600/IMG_20150204_104348_046.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRwxsMol7kJmtq33ak7pP8AV4OJXrjedT5MPJ9dLjVGHF1sQCBIgmRpanTP5KatJ1mjMLuj9aI3kkvjbpQ5_cfWzx1iH4JBqxtpeh4YUPFGoJNoEnDFUG7caTP-VBRBHXziX1Dq19fNVDV/s320/IMG_20150204_104348_046.jpg" width="180" /></a>I had so much fun meeting all of the french speakers as well. Dhamma knows no boundaries when it comes to language. They had delightful accents, and everyone looked so adorable wearing huge parkas and thick boots.<br />
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It was a wonderful retreat. Thank you Dhamma Suttama!<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Through the sky blow many different winds,<br />
from east and west, from north and south,<br />
dust-laden and dustless, cold as well as hot,<br />
fierce gales and gentle breezes -- many winds blow.<br />
In the same way, in this body, sensations arise,<br />
pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral."<br />
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- Pathama-akasa sutta, SN 1.260</blockquote>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQPIqmWqHMruHT9FvkxciFwCpuZgoGL0euoTn9JpbYU_TLuHxQZd_lRImRe92ynBK_8oYn04Lx_kNYnztjW6ul4UvoiNEdaq2AhjiIRGGwLEZt4pVrdL4x2-MKO4onJIbQrEkSb9HQIehf/s1600/IMG_20150215_090936_707.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQPIqmWqHMruHT9FvkxciFwCpuZgoGL0euoTn9JpbYU_TLuHxQZd_lRImRe92ynBK_8oYn04Lx_kNYnztjW6ul4UvoiNEdaq2AhjiIRGGwLEZt4pVrdL4x2-MKO4onJIbQrEkSb9HQIehf/s320/IMG_20150215_090936_707.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnsv8bsjgSU7zIm8CEw0RUVlF9ra_gvB0bhPyFeCQm3nnx6zCrMdvWZp8yDVxetzFv2dN-aO1U6S5x_EyFXHxw0IW4YG6di46fgENnTQEq474KGn9MdsDrE187kMBPTwlOIskiBK7fXID/s1600/IMG_20150215_094135_509.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnsv8bsjgSU7zIm8CEw0RUVlF9ra_gvB0bhPyFeCQm3nnx6zCrMdvWZp8yDVxetzFv2dN-aO1U6S5x_EyFXHxw0IW4YG6di46fgENnTQEq474KGn9MdsDrE187kMBPTwlOIskiBK7fXID/s320/IMG_20150215_094135_509.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitKxoh1Et3s4gFn7ySNk1Nkmh8P-JFcRnnMhjKDTV9H6Pc_Sae8o6q8cFFKTJkjTaA5RmmXGn_K6idHsqXktx2nwa4ijrVi88uiDhkc9ForpELFklhNJDbwrqNm5mGpb1I6ie2lPRf0H7n/s1600/IMG_20150204_124835_813.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitKxoh1Et3s4gFn7ySNk1Nkmh8P-JFcRnnMhjKDTV9H6Pc_Sae8o6q8cFFKTJkjTaA5RmmXGn_K6idHsqXktx2nwa4ijrVi88uiDhkc9ForpELFklhNJDbwrqNm5mGpb1I6ie2lPRf0H7n/s320/IMG_20150204_124835_813.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRwxsMol7kJmtq33ak7pP8AV4OJXrjedT5MPJ9dLjVGHF1sQCBIgmRpanTP5KatJ1mjMLuj9aI3kkvjbpQ5_cfWzx1iH4JBqxtpeh4YUPFGoJNoEnDFUG7caTP-VBRBHXziX1Dq19fNVDV/s1600/IMG_20150204_104348_046.jpg" imageanchor="1"></a></div>
Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-41594697351978328742015-12-29T22:12:00.000-08:002015-12-29T22:12:06.409-08:00Vipassana with Buddy Wakefield on TEDx<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I had the pleasure of sitting a course last April with <a href="http://buddywakefield.com/buddys-tedx-talk/">Buddy Wakefield</a>. Of course, I had no idea that he was there, or even who he was. Sitting a course isn't really a time for being social. <br />
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It wasn't until the car ride to the airport that we ended up both hitching a ride with a local Texas meditator. I could tell that he was deeply steeped in dhamma as we talked. There is an incredible post-retreat glow that some meditators really eminate, and he had it big time. I could tell that everything he said was coming from deep place inside himself where he looked as though he was checking to see if it was his honest truth.<br />
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He is a writer, so as we talked, he would scribble notes down on a paper for possible inclusion in his spoken word performances. <br />
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Late, when I returned home, I saw this TEDx talk. I love it. He has a beautiful way of putting it into his own words and bringing a fresh and lively expression of what Vipassana is about for him.<br />
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Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-45965780323990820622015-12-27T22:04:00.003-08:002015-12-27T22:09:52.463-08:00Retreat at Kaufman, Texas Dhamma Center<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I went on retreat last April (2015) at the Kaufman center in Texas. It's been so long now since the retreat that I have forgotten a lot of the details, but I still wanted to share the photos. It is a beautiful center, and I had my own private room with a bathroom (many of the rooms at the center are singles like this).<br />
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I took nice walks along the trails, but I remember the grass had my allergies going the whole time. The wild bunny rabbits were so cute as they bounced around in the grass. The neighbor's cows also came by for a visit now and then.<br />
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The center has a pagoda as well, and I made use of it mostly in the mornings. I love getting up in the stillness of a quiet morning and walking to the pagoda. So much stillness, both inside and out. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu7cyrkumjDsbu9eQ89sWBpBSOmYFsg9F6bL3LzVrTKvd2Vd5-PIlQtASoGg-Och0OAv5Fw5RlGfWT5KVirWd_6lR5yo7ZskFtyHqlFoGjK3jXurGwaqYd4bC8dh1Wb2JfbruczvxYiiiP/s1600/IMG_20150510_074953_632.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu7cyrkumjDsbu9eQ89sWBpBSOmYFsg9F6bL3LzVrTKvd2Vd5-PIlQtASoGg-Och0OAv5Fw5RlGfWT5KVirWd_6lR5yo7ZskFtyHqlFoGjK3jXurGwaqYd4bC8dh1Wb2JfbruczvxYiiiP/s320/IMG_20150510_074953_632.jpg" width="320" /></a>
The community at this center seemed unique. There were many younger people involved there, and so much metta. At the end of the retreat, they made sure that everybody had a ride to where they needed to go, and if people couldn't find a ride, local people would just shuttle people out of the kindness in their hearts.<br />
<br />
Oh, and I also made a lot of friends on the retreat. One of them was a spectacular poet named <a href="http://buddywakefield.com/">Buddy Wakefield</a>. He and I went to the airport together after the retreat and got to spend a few hours basking in dhamma and sharing wonderful insights while we waited for our flights. He was clearly so in touch with his inner world and so wonderful at articulating it too.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic1Uvia-zdfUBFpjt-dMb_dmEWKicepq-Yfc4ay0K21lKzl2PrKF5Za8dRoMLH4wD9IqO4ZRD4TVcGN_JqHZzxQaDg0-uttEgxZn7kxcj5PhKm6uViWRaW3Y-9ZRel85r08TzIs3Vef3ow/s1600/IMG_20150510_084837_080.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic1Uvia-zdfUBFpjt-dMb_dmEWKicepq-Yfc4ay0K21lKzl2PrKF5Za8dRoMLH4wD9IqO4ZRD4TVcGN_JqHZzxQaDg0-uttEgxZn7kxcj5PhKm6uViWRaW3Y-9ZRel85r08TzIs3Vef3ow/s320/IMG_20150510_084837_080.jpg" width="320" /></a>
I remember that I said a phrase which he liked, and then he wrote it down on a piece of paper. I guess that's what a writer does, constantly scribble notes here and there as inspiration comes. Perhaps I could do more of that too.<br />
<br />
The phrase he scribbled was this:<br />
<br />
<br />
"The happiness beyond the conditions of the world."<br />
<br />
May you all taste such happiness.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw1oLXhA8DgSm2dvMC59kP0Pb3iSjaiYb93Hyp_IBzQMvZIU05k2H9nuKmmyc454z3Plp1332W0gKWz7rMUsv4UCesuWuwGKjJpkL6YYoNrl0E_ObtSWCPULSP64p2z1qVDfUnJ-iONxDR/s1600/IMG_20150510_075420_119.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw1oLXhA8DgSm2dvMC59kP0Pb3iSjaiYb93Hyp_IBzQMvZIU05k2H9nuKmmyc454z3Plp1332W0gKWz7rMUsv4UCesuWuwGKjJpkL6YYoNrl0E_ObtSWCPULSP64p2z1qVDfUnJ-iONxDR/s400/IMG_20150510_075420_119.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
</div>
Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-25440492106906255412015-12-25T19:59:00.001-08:002015-12-27T21:30:42.057-08:00Death is a Christmas Miracle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH1Ecn5affgseIePiCQiH8qMKnfUxeWKAVoeHn_W0QS_u6JYOYEbBZ9ex7kcIoOK06d95EdQ3jL_xCaBI88l4xG2-HOiwBQiH_Clndf22v00lFMP-mVvtZj_7W1J5aD_YYetZO6jBRl6QE/s1600/IMG_20151221_150840.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH1Ecn5affgseIePiCQiH8qMKnfUxeWKAVoeHn_W0QS_u6JYOYEbBZ9ex7kcIoOK06d95EdQ3jL_xCaBI88l4xG2-HOiwBQiH_Clndf22v00lFMP-mVvtZj_7W1J5aD_YYetZO6jBRl6QE/s320/IMG_20151221_150840.jpg" width="320" /></a>Perhaps I have a strange appreciation for the
beauty which exists in darkness. I see miracles where others don't,
and if that makes me a little bit weird, oh well. This is my story of
Christmas miracles. <i><br /><br />(The story is based on real experiences, but all details have been fictionalized to protect patient privacy.)<br /></i><br />
It was Christmas day, exactly one year ago. I was working as a nurse, and it
was my very first day on my own in the Intensive Care Unit. I just finished three months of training in critical care, so I had
been preparing for this day. I was nervous, excited, and happy to be
finally taking on full responsibility for these critically ill
patients.<br />
<br />
The day began as this story begins: with birth. I
stepped on to the elevator, as I do every morning. Following me on to the elevator was an
attractive young couple who must have been in their early twenties.
The woman was quite visibly pregnant. <br />
<br />
“How wonderful,” I
thought to myself. “It looks like they are having a Christmas baby!
What an amazing gift for the holiday.” <br />
<br />
As I looked closer,
however, it seemed strange that the woman was standing comfortably
and not revealing any signs of labor. “She doesn't look like she's
about to have a baby,” I thought as I began to imagine this
couple's story in my head. (An elevator ride is an excellent time to
think up stories about my fellow passengers.)<br />
<br />
They didn't
press the button for the labor and
delivery floor, so now I knew something was out of the ordinary. Instead,
they got off the elevator early and we parted ways. “Well, they must be visiting someone
who is sick,” I concluded.<br />
<br />
I continued the elevator ride to my floor and
soon clocked in for work. Upon arrival to the unit, I got the news
that I would be admitting a young man who had arrived to the
Emergency Department with a severe cardiac arrhythmia. “He will be
coming to the unit in about 30 minutes,” I was told.<br />
<br />
The
second part of the story begins here: with sickness. The man arrived
on my floor. His youthful adventures had finally caught up to him,
leaving him now vulnerable and naked under a thin hospital gown in a
lumpy old hospital bed. He had come to town on a holiday vacation. He had never had any obvious health problems
before, and these frightening symptoms had caught him and his family
all by surprise. Perhaps you might imagine waking up early on Christmas morning to chest palpitations,
and profuse sweating. <br />
<br />
It wasn't long before his family
started trickling in to visit. This moderate sized crowd had been
patiently sitting in the waiting room. As I
looked, I was startled to see before me the young couple from the
elevator. Their radiant youth, an image of fertility, stood in
contrast to the sterile and quiet halls of the ICU. They entered my
patient's room and shared their love with him, confirming the stories
I had made up in the elevator. They were indeed there to visit someone who was sick.<br />
<br />
As that patient was settled,
the next part of the story begins: with aging. I walked across the
hall to return to the other patient in my assignment. This was an
older woman who had been found at home unresponsive. The
quick response of paramedics had kept this woman from dying, but she
was old and her brain function was simply not going to recover. After
many days of following the top protocol, she was still not showing any signs
of improvement. An MRI showed diffuse damage to the tissue of her
brain, and it was time for the family to make a decision.<br />
<br />
Her
husband would be making the final decisions regarding any plan of
care. They had been married for 52 years, and he had spent every day
at the hospital since his wife had arrived. He sat with her
and prayed, and sometimes begged her to wake up. After he arrived on
this particular morning, the doctors sat him down and gave him the
very real and very unfortunate prognosis. Her chance of recovering to any meaningful level of health was
almost zero. We had tried weaning her off of the mechanical
ventilator, but she did not tolerate it. The machine would be
necessary to keep her alive.<br />
<br />
We sat in silence, as he absorbed
the news. He was calm as he gave it thought. Then he began to
explain, “You see, today is a sort of anniversary for us. It's Christmas. I just think... well, if we could just keep her
comfortable for two more days, then I'd be ready to say
goodbye. I just don't want her to die today. Not
today.”<br />
<br />
“Unfortunately,” the doctor compassionately
explained, “we can't keep her alive and also keep her comfortable.
The tube in her throat is uncomfortable, the machine is forcing air
into her lungs. If you want her to be comfortable, or if you want her
to stay alive, those are two different goals. It is your decision
what to do, and we will support you with whatever you decide. It's ok
if you want to take some time to think about it.” He took his time,
he talked with the rest of the family, and within a few hours he
had made a decision.<br />
<br />
The final part of this Christmas story now
begins here: with death. The decision was made to withdraw care and
provide only what treatment was necessary to make this patient
comfortable as she passed. As the afternoon grew late, I began the
morphine drip, giving time for it to circulate through her system and
ease any possible pain that her brain could still register. Soon
after that, we pulled the breathing tube from her throat and removed
the last devices of life support. She was on her own, to breath or
not breath as her body could tolerate. She gasped for air, and her
gasps were eerily similar to the first gasps of a newborn still
drenched in the fluids of it's birth. These dying gasps continued, and just as a baby grows stronger with each gasp, this woman grew only weaker. <br />
<br />
The family prayed, and spoke
gently to her. The husband grabbed her hand and reminded her:
“remember this day? This is the day I proposed to you.” The
memory seemed as though it was still crisp in his mind, as though he
was talking to the young woman he once loved while looking into the
eyes of his aged and dying wife.<br />
<br />
She passed peacefully soon
after that. The family said their goodbyes and it was over. His final
Christmas gift to her was to comfort her as she died. Their gift to
me was to allow me into such a vulnerable and touching moment in
their lives. <br />
<br />
I was new to the ICU, and although I had seen
patients die before, this was the first time in which the family officially made the decision to withdraw care. It was a first which I
will remember for the rest of my life. <br />
<br />
Working in the ICU, I
am often confronted with the cost of dying. There are the monetary
costs: more than $50 Billion dollars each year paid by Medicare on
doctor and hospital bills for the last two months of patients' lives.
A stay in the ICU alone can cost over $10,000 a day. <br />
<br />
But, there
are other costs as well. Had the family continued with full treatment
for this patient, she would have eventually started to decline.
Perhaps an infection would start, or her breathing would worsen. Her
skin would begin to break down. The delicate balance of life would
become harder to maintain. More medicines would be needed, more forms
of life support. It would have only prolonged the inevitable.<br />
<br />
Being
human, we are inescapably bound to these four stages of life: birth,
sickness, aging, and death. People recognize birth as a miracle. It
is easy to imagine the maternity ward on Christmas day, so full of
smiles and so full of love. Birth is the beginning of life, but life
also ends with death. Birth and death do not exist without each
other. This is the miracle which I will honor this Christmas, not
just birth, but the entire cycle from birth to death. Life is what
gives us this brief and momentary glimpse into the great mystery of
being human. We awaken into the world to explore, to discover, to
participate and to stand in awe. Then, our eyes close shut one final
time. This brief glimpse ends.<br />
<br />
For me, it was a miracle to be
a part of these people's lives on Christmas. For me, it was a
gift, and a blessing. Amid the awareness of death, the experience
itself was so fully alive. <br />
<br />
I feel grateful, and in gratitude
I share this Christmas tale with you. This is for you who are also
basking in the mystery of it all and embracing the inevitable. This
is for you who do not run from our nature, but love it even when it
hurts. This is for you who value truth, and honesty, and realness in
a world which often encourages denial. <br />
<br />
Even if you don't
celebrate Christmas, well, Merry Christmas nonetheless. May you
appreciate this miracle of life, death, and the whole human
experience.<br />
<br />
From me to you this Christmas.
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“Just
as mountains of solid rock,<br />
Massive, reaching to the sky,<br />
Might
draw together from all sides,<br />
Crushing all in the four
quarters—<br />
So aging and death come<br />
Rolling over living
beings“<br />
<br />
- The Buddha</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-59491031067368759362015-12-08T14:03:00.001-08:002015-12-08T14:06:46.690-08:00Relational Insight Retreat (First ever of it's kind!)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have decided that this summer I will finally be creating an event that I have been dreaming about for years. I don't think there is anything else quite like this that has ever been done, and personally I am giddy with excitement about how it will unfold.<br />
<br />
The idea is to create an intensive five day meditation retreat for a small group, that includes a relational component. There will be silent meditation, like most meditation retreats, but there will also be a meditative practice with the focus of awareness on relationship itself.<br />
<br />
The purpose of the retreat is to cultivate awareness of our experience from moment to moment to moment, both as we go within ourselves in silent meditation, and as we relate with each other in connection. Through the cultivation of awareness, we will reveal the truth of each moment - the truth within ourselves, and the truth we see in others.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
I am still putting building the structure of this retreat, but here is the basic idea in a nutshell.<br />
<br />
<u><b>Minimal Facilitation</b></u><br />
<br />
I certainly have a lot of experience facilitating, leading, teaching, and organizing these kinds of experiences, but I want the facilitation to be kept to a minimum. I also want to be a participant. I will be available for support, but the basic idea of the retreat will be of minimal facilitation from me. It will depend on self-discipline, participation from everyone, and a tight structure (see below).<br />
<br />
Participants will be expected to already have prior experience in either meditation, or any form of deep relational work (such as circling, the diamond approach, etc.) Preferably, the participants will be very experienced and will bring a lot to share with the group, so that we all may benefit from each other's wisdom.<u><b> </b></u>I will lead the group into the first day of practice, and then the group will carry it's own momentum. During meditation hours, their will be an emphasis on insight meditation (vipassana), though participants may also practice whatever silent meditation technique they prefer. <br />
<br />
The relational meditation practice will be guided at first to set the context for practice. For those familiar with the practice of "circling" it may resemble something like an "organic circle." In short, the group will speak and interact with each other in a way that maintains our awareness on the ever-changing experience of the present moment. [More information on relational meditation practice to come...] <br />
<br />
During personal time periods, one will be able to practice according to their own preference in line with the general purpose of the retreat.<br />
<b><u><br />Minimal Facilities, </u>(and work contribution from every participant)</b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b>To keep costs low, and to minimize unnecessary work, the facilities will be kept minimalist. Three meals will be eaten each day, and snacks will be available, but the meals will be kept simple and easy to prepare. Breakfast will be oatmeal, cereal, fruit, yogurt, and toast. Lunch will be the big meal of the day. Dinner will be soup, salad, and whatever fruit and snacks are available.<br />
<br />
Each participant will be expected to do a yogi job each day, cooking, cleaning, time keeping, etc. so that the retreat can run smoothly without need for outside help.<br />
<u><b><br />Self Discipline</b></u><br />
<br />
The next key principle of this retreat will be self discipline so that we can stick to a tight structure and put our full effort into doing the important work of self awareness. Participants will be expected to commit fully to the practice and the purpose of the retreat.<br />
<br />
Discipline will include:<br />
- Strict time table as noted below. While sessions will not be enforced as mandatory, anyone opting out of a session will be expected to take care not to disturb the group practice.<br />
- Buddhist Five Precepts (No lying, killing, stealing, intoxication, or sexual misconduct - and for this retreat, no sexual conduct of any kind.)<br />
- Cell phones and electronics are to be turned off for the entire retreat unless absolutely necessary.<br />
- Noble silence between the last meditation at night and the first meditation in the morning.<br />
- A commitment to stay for the full retreat and stay with the process as it unfolds.<br />
- Journals and books will be allowed, but with the expectation that they support the purpose and atmosphere of the retreat.<br />
<br />
<u><b>Time Table</b></u><br />
<br />
Weds-Sunday (Five days)<br />
<br />
<u>Wednesday:</u><br />
3:00 PM Arrive and get settled<br />
5:00 PM Dinner and introductions<br />
7:00 PM Beginning Meditation and Opening Formalities<br />
8:30 PM Noble Silence Begins - personal time until bed<br />
<br />
<u>Thursday - Saturday:</u><br />
6:00am (optional) Movement Practice - yoga, etc.<br />
7:00am Breakfast and Cleanup <br />
8:00am Morning Group Meditation<br />
* 9:00am Noble Silence ends for the duration of daytime activities<br />
9:00am Relational Meditation in group (with breaks as needed)<br />
11:00am Cook Lunch and Chores<br />
12:00pm Eat Lunch/Cleanup/Personal Time<br />
2:00pm Afternoon Group Meditation<br />
3:00pm Relational Meditation in group (with breaks as needed)<br />
6:00pm Dinner and Cleanup<br />
7:00pm Evening Group Check In<br />
7:30pm Evening Group Meditation<br />
* 8:30pm Noble Silence begins for the duration of the night<br />
8:30pm Personal Time until sleep<br />
<br />
<u>Sunday:</u><br />
7:00am Breakfast<br />
8:00am Morning Group Meditation<br />
* 9:00am Noble Silence ends<br />
9:00-12:00 Loving Kindness and Closing<br />
12:00 Final Lunch, Cleanup, Goodbyes<br />
Departure after cleanup as necessary.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Location</u></b><br />
<br />
Location is still to be determined. I would like to do one on the west coast and one on the east coast so that it's accessible for my friends on both sides of the country. The west coast retreat will probably be held in Felton, CA (near Santa Cruz).<br />
<br />
The location(s) will ideally be in a quiet area with some access to trails and nature.<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
That is the idea for now. More details will be added as they become available.<br />
<br />
Be Happy</div>
Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-18284881756070639472012-09-20T16:25:00.000-07:002012-09-20T16:25:02.163-07:00Retreat at Kelseyville Center - NCVC<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvT3gS7-ns7GBZ_2VfHXsjWCgLZV3Z_Ssx3QeQ_DsLAdp7H7R98RHiQfkuAlfOEIVcuVwAfs6YuDKP_2qfToIGSmHQ7LsLdyi-uYsZPlN-1guSODvue9Gmo_5eUzM-h4nu4x2M26miMK6i/s1600/NCVC-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvT3gS7-ns7GBZ_2VfHXsjWCgLZV3Z_Ssx3QeQ_DsLAdp7H7R98RHiQfkuAlfOEIVcuVwAfs6YuDKP_2qfToIGSmHQ7LsLdyi-uYsZPlN-1guSODvue9Gmo_5eUzM-h4nu4x2M26miMK6i/s320/NCVC-4.jpg" width="320" /></a>I recently sat a course at the new Goenka center in Kelseyville, CA. It was a wonderful place for a retreat. It's located about 20 minutes from Harbin Hot Springs, and about 2-3 hours north of San Francisco. <br />
<br />
It's a smaller center than the North Fork center. The smaller size makes things much easier, logistically. The line for lunch isn't as long, and it isn't too crowded. I saw some amazing wildlife: blue-tailed skink, a family of wild turkey, lots of deer, and more.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirU90Gppenpce2wZ8kSBMpnwgROWpdlaP3WCVIIeHx0zrrvApD8A1aRaIKefuznLB6WjMWFsh42uBRLkP_G7xfKMRazAt7BiNfQyQ32agVzykgYgOgdT-HShGTHssJQ50HQYgC9UpZ7etA/s1600/NCVC-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirU90Gppenpce2wZ8kSBMpnwgROWpdlaP3WCVIIeHx0zrrvApD8A1aRaIKefuznLB6WjMWFsh42uBRLkP_G7xfKMRazAt7BiNfQyQ32agVzykgYgOgdT-HShGTHssJQ50HQYgC9UpZ7etA/s320/NCVC-1.jpg" width="213" /></a>The walking trails go up the hill behind the meditation hall, so you can get quite a workout going up and down the hill. It offers a tranquil forest setting, which is great for a break from sitting. I stayed in a tent at the top of the hill, and the tent spaces were very nice. They were farther from the street, and somewhat secluded. I loved seeing the stars at night through the mesh ceiling of my tent. <br />
<br />
I don't know what the indoor accommodations were like, but I saw quite a few dorms. I don't think they have very many single rooms, so be prepared to share your space. The showers were clean and plentiful. <br />
<br />I had a great time, and most likely I will be back again.<br /><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnhdr5hfbXW31IuusejZAZE0haRKiO0ZsrZAecBmm9VlnTp3Uedgkrr_Du1BywdRoTdAvllrrq_9DhQeYhoMsrRkAO3SalEwiGcfZ8kWEs4Taw0qb6aErXeIwDHpnr-9ZPzWXfhhP-7g_d/s1600/NCVC-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0hJNzUa_PHCzd_PBzWsZalPhVcX2ZiwkT3PH_1NwliN6sKd8T9t-9VAHD2Xb_I8twzMArc8WhQ-eYMdzvA9fsQmnBupCLQNUipJRrETtQ_0DDzkXrljx9ME8b6WYJH4J8tLrlvO6-RW2N/s1600/NCVC-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0hJNzUa_PHCzd_PBzWsZalPhVcX2ZiwkT3PH_1NwliN6sKd8T9t-9VAHD2Xb_I8twzMArc8WhQ-eYMdzvA9fsQmnBupCLQNUipJRrETtQ_0DDzkXrljx9ME8b6WYJH4J8tLrlvO6-RW2N/s320/NCVC-3.jpg" width="320" /></a><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnhdr5hfbXW31IuusejZAZE0haRKiO0ZsrZAecBmm9VlnTp3Uedgkrr_Du1BywdRoTdAvllrrq_9DhQeYhoMsrRkAO3SalEwiGcfZ8kWEs4Taw0qb6aErXeIwDHpnr-9ZPzWXfhhP-7g_d/s320/NCVC-2.jpg" width="213" /></div>
Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-47995422635080713692012-09-20T15:50:00.004-07:002012-09-20T15:57:04.643-07:00Long Term Service - FAQ<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A number of people have asked me questions about my experience living at
the Vipassana center in North Fork, so I wanted to do a follow up to one of my original posts. I know that it can sometimes be hard to get a hold of
anyone at the center to answer your questions (after all, they are all
volunteers.) So, here are my answers. I will try to update this if I get more questions:<br />
<br />
Q: I have
sit a couples of course and recently I have been thinking about staying
there and serving the the center on a long/short term basis... I would like to know when you are not serving or sitting the
course. Do they have a fixed schedule for you to follow? Will they
allow access to the internet etc during those times or even when you
were serving?<br />
<br />
A: If you are staying at the center, here are the
rules as far as I know. This is UNOFFICIAL... so I will always defer to
whatever they tell you:<br />
1) You have to stay on the five precepts and
meditate a minimum of 2 hours per day <u>no matter what</u>. Even if you take a
day trip up to Yosemite, there shall be no boozing and fornicating.<br />
2) <u>When serving a course</u>, you are expected to follow the server schedule
which includes six hours of work per day and 3 hours of sitting. If,
for some reason you need to sit or rest more and work less, they usually
can accommodate that. Internet use, phone calls, leaving the center,
etc. are all discouraged while a course is in progress, but sometimes
they will make an exception if you ask and it seems reasonable.<br />
3) Courses generally end on a Sunday morning. That <u>Sunday</u> is considered
the day off. (Yep, one day off every 2 weeks.) You still need to
meditate 2-3 hours, but otherwise you can do whatever you want:
internet, yosemite, skinny dipping in waterfalls, hiking, movies. One
time, a group of servers went to see the latest horror movie which just
came out (I declined the invitation.)<br />
4) <u>From Monday until the next course</u> is considered a service period
which has it's own rule. Basically, you will follow a schedule similar
to the server schedule (6 hours of work, 3 hours of meditation) except
with a bit more lenience about leaving for day trips or using internet,
etc.<br />
5) In general, <u>at no time</u> are you supposed to do anything other than
practice dhamma or do dhamma service on center grounds. So, that means
no reading (other than approved dhamma books.) No listening to your
ipod, no playing guitar, etc. If you want, you can just drive down to
the end of the driveway and play your guitar by the street for an hour
and then return. Personally, I kind of like this rule, because it
really keeps the intention crystal clear about the purpose of the
center.<br />
6) One more note: <u>the time after lunch clean up</u>, from 1:00-2:30 is
considered break time and it is highly recommended to get in bed and
take a nap. This is great rest, and you will probably need it. If a there is no course going on, it can be a good time for a quick email check, as well.<br />
<br />
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Q: Anyway, it is great to know that I am not the only one want to live
the dream of staying at a center. It seems a little scary but at least
now I know someone else has done it. <br />
<br />
A: You are definitely not
the only one. I met dozens of servers staying anywhere from 2 days to 2
years or more. The scariest part is taking the leap, but actually
there is nothing to be afraid of. It will take some work to return to your
householders life after your stay at the center, but Vipassana
meditators never shy away from a little work, right?</div>
Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-92154456558863142232012-06-20T13:23:00.001-07:002012-06-20T13:26:14.060-07:00My Photo in a German Textbook<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Here is a photo I took which is now in print across the world in a German textbook. Cool!<br />
<br />
I put the text into google translate, and this is what it said:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="" id="result_box" lang="en"><span class="hps">What</span> <span class="hps">is reborn</span>?<br /> <span class="hps">Ajahn</span> <span class="hps">Amaro</span> <span class="hps">replied:</span><br /> <span class="hps atn">"</span><span class="">To be born</span> <span class="hps">again</span> <span class="hps">by and large</span> <span class="hps">our habits</span>.<br /> <span class="hps">In essence,</span> <span class="hps">this is it</span><br /> <span class="hps">Whatever the reason,</span> <span class="hps">the mind</span> <span class="hps">holds</span>, <span class="hps">that is</span> <span class="hps">born again</span> <span class="hps">-</span> <span class="hps">what</span> <span class="hps">we love,</span> <span class="hps">hate</span>, fear, <span class="hps">and</span> <span class="hps">admire</span> <span class="hps">what we</span> <span class="hps">have</span> <span class="hps">opinions.</span><br /> <span class="hps">Behind</span> <span class="hps">our</span> <span class="hps">identification with these</span> <span class="hps">aspects</span> <span class="hps">of the mind</span> <span class="hps">lies a</span> <span class="hps">driving force.</span><br /> <span class="hps">Attachment is</span> <span class="hps">like a</span> <span class="hps">flywheel</span>.<br /> <span class="hps">Enlightenment is the</span> <span class="hps">end</span> <span class="hps">of rebirth</span>, <span class="hps">which means</span>: <span class="hps">perfect</span> <span class="hps">non-attachment</span> <span class="hps">to</span> <span class="hps">all thoughts</span>, feelings<span class="">, perceptions</span>, <span class="hps">bodily</span> <span class="hps">sensations</span> <span class="hps">and ideas</span>, <span class="hps">full</span> <span class="hps">non-identification</span>.<br /> <span class="hps">So when we speak</span> <span class="hps">of it</span>, <span class="hps">that</span> <span class="hps">we</span> <span class="hps">have</span> <span class="hps">birth</span> <span class="hps">and death</span> <span class="hps">behind</span> <span class="hps">us</span>, <span class="hps">from the end</span> <span class="hps">of rebirth</span>, <span class="hps">of</span> <span class="hps">enlightenment</span><span class="">, this is</span> <span class="hps">actually the</span> <span class="hps">natural</span> <span class="hps">constitution</span> <span class="hps">of the mind</span> <span class="hps">-</span> <span class="hps">not to be confused</span> <span class="hps">with</span> <span class="hps">any</span> <span class="hps">internal or</span> <span class="hps">external object</span> <span class="hps">identified</span> <span class="hps">or</span> <span class="hps">caught.</span><br /> <span class="hps">Is born</span> <span class="hps">from life to</span> <span class="hps">life</span> <span class="hps">again</span> <span class="hps">that in us</span> <span class="hps">which</span> <span class="hps">is</span> <span class="hps">blindly</span> <span class="hps">identified</span> <span class="hps">with objects.</span></span></blockquote>
</div>Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-41723825331709064912012-01-10T17:17:00.000-08:002012-01-10T18:04:50.552-08:00Cushion Report: Christmas in the Woods<a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-3QP46-1s0OI/Tv5IxI9bfDI/AAAAAAAAAiY/fFjQilwh_oE/s280/occidental_Christmas_course-6.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 192px;" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-3QP46-1s0OI/Tv5IxI9bfDI/AAAAAAAAAiY/fFjQilwh_oE/s720/occidental_Christmas_course-6.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Here's a report from my meditation experiences on my most recent retreat. I'm not sure if I've explained before why I post the details of my inner life on the internet for all to see. So, first let me explain the reasoning and then on to the report. <br /><br />The thing about meditation that I never understood before I actually did it is that it is real. There is a lot that goes on in the mind that has significant consequences on one's experience of life – much more than most people realize. When I mentioned my retreat to a friend recently, he joked: “My meditation is watching TV.” It was a good joke, and I laughed, but I was also reminded of what I used to think meditation was. I'm not sure what I thought it was, but I didn't understand why anyone prefer such an activity over something as enjoyable as watching TV.<br /><br />However, the thing about the inner workings of meditation is that no one else knows what's going on if you don't talk about it. It's called the inner world because it is inaccessible to other people without the aid of descriptions and explanations straight from the person's mouth. So, in the spirit of understanding the nature of subjective experience, I like to share my experience and I like to hear about the experiences of others. It may be that someday the inner world is no longer shrouded in mystery and is as well known to humanity as the rest of the natural world.<br /><br />So, let me begin. My memory is already fading, but I recall that for the first couple of days my mind was settling down significantly. I had a number of sits where I would walk to the hall thinking “I have no idea what's going to happen, and I don't even think I know what to do.” And, then I would sit, and my attention would go the breath, and I would become very very calm. By the end of the sit, I was quite at peace. <br /><br />This deepening of concentration was a theme at different points through the retreat. At one point, I hit a stage which the mind was so naturally with the breath that it would've taken effort to place the mind elsewhere. The way I would describe it is that applied and sustained effort dropped away and the mind just stayed put. The Buddha talked about “applied and sustained effort,” but I don't know if he meant the same thing as me. I'm using the words just in a literal sense of applying and sustaining effort.<br /><br />Also worth noting were a few moments interspersed throughout the retreat where thinking really started to drop away. I was quite surprised by such an experience, because it was so different to be aware in a way where thoughts aren't arising. All that was there were sensations, arising and passing. However, these no-thought moments were very brief (like maybe a second). I remembered back to an event that occurred a couple of years ago in which I woke up from a dream to find myself in a very deep thoughtless state of consciousness and this lead to an instant reaction of fear. In that moment, it was a great fear that I didn't exist. So, I take it as a good sign of improvement that I can now access a similar state without any averse reactions.<br /><br />Turning the mind toward insight, I found my mind being blown quite a few times throughout the retreat. There were many moments of “no way! Whaaa??!,” as I discovered more and more layers of experience which had been shrouded in delusion. I may say that things certainly were not the way I thought they were. Over and over again. Yet, I set my mind to push onward and keep practicing through every precious moment of the retreat. <br /><br /><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Hh0WBq29L48/Tv5Iu2e2zOI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/S1vlEK43Zlg/s280/occidental_Christmas_course-7.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 192px;" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Hh0WBq29L48/Tv5Iu2e2zOI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/S1vlEK43Zlg/s720/occidental_Christmas_course-7.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>There were times during which the practice was revealed to me with stunning clarity, and it all seemed so simple. All that was needed was to just remain aware of what's happening right now. It seemed so simple. As attention grew more and more attuned to the direct and ever changing experience of right now, things began to synchronize and settle. As the mind began to cloud again, and things became unknown and confusing, there was faith to keep going just being aware of the moment as it arises and as it passes. And, with time, these chunks of unknown experience would also begin to dissolve and break apart, bringing insight and understanding.<br /><br />I have often thought of there being a moment in the retreat at which time I can say to myself: “this was worth the money.” Of course, with this retreat, and all Goenka retreats, there is no money to pay, so it is purely a metaphorical expression. What it means to me is that all of the time, effort, and expenses of every kind were worth it for the benefit of the insights I gained here. Usually, I experience this early on in the retreat, and then get several more days of bonus value after that. This high return on investment may explain why I keep going back for more. During this retreat, I remember some profound insights occurred on day 4 that made it all worthwhile for me. I thought to myself, “this was worth the money.” Then, a number of times on the days to come, I got exponentially more out of the retreat than just those piddly first four days. <br /><br />It is hard to explain what I got, however. The best I can say is that when I have been walking around for years inside a very deeply embedded delusion or illusion, and then all of a sudden it is seen for what it really is.... these can be the kinds of things that could take years, decades or lifetimes to come across without the tool of meditation. <br /><br />I understand if this is vague and I don't have any more specifics, but I think I can muster a simple example of what I'm talking about by delusion. Let's say there is a thought which says “I want xyz. Therefore, I want to try to get xyz in the future.” This thought may be so deeply embedded into the background of experience that I never notice that it is a thought. Instead, I think that I actually want xyz, and that I'm actually just going to try to get it. This doesn't seem like a thought; it seems like reality. Then, one day on retreat, perhaps I see the thought arise and pass, like a cloud in the sky. It is empty, it is conditioned, it is just a transitory wave across my mind. It has no reality. The thought vibration of this present moment, this is the reality. “Right now there is thinking.” This is the reality, and, in my understanding, this is awakening. It's a marvelous process.<br /><br />As I neared day 9, my attention became a bit tumultuous and filled again with thoughts of the future. Nonetheless, I kept at the practice until the very last minute of the last meditation hour while on retreat. I continued to break new ground. Even as we began to speak to others I was gaining valuable insights and maturing in my understanding of being human. <br /><br />Through it all, I still feel a bit dumbfounded and amazed. I feel like such a beginner and so clueless about the whole thing. I am ready to keep going.Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-78348576436460509452011-12-30T16:20:00.000-08:002012-01-10T18:05:36.648-08:0010-Day Vipassana Christmas Course (Occidental, CA)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Q4dGstKlgCc/Tv5IYnVtsPI/AAAAAAAAAhk/h63a5MYFOYw/s288/occidental_Christmas_course.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Q4dGstKlgCc/Tv5IYnVtsPI/AAAAAAAAAhk/h63a5MYFOYw/s720/occidental_Christmas_course.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>One Hundred Forty Nine Female Meditators; Ninety Seven Male Meditators; Twenty One Kitchen Staff; Seven Course Managers; Four Assistant Teachers; One Big Video Screen.<br /><br />The photo to the left doesn't quite capture the magnitude of a hall seating more than 250 meditators. So, let me try to put it into words - messy, but well disciplined - crowded but cooperative - long lines, but loud laughter too - snoring dormitories, but shared experience. Add to this the extra ingredient of a special once a year Christmas holiday-time course to bring people together and make for a thriving 10 day community in the woods of Occidental.<br /><br />For anyone thinking of attending this course, which has a been ongoing now for several years, I will share some highlights of this year's experience. <br /><br />The course ended this morning, and I'm typing this now on a foggy winter day, but the weather was sunny and bright for most of the course. There was not a drop of rain this year. This probably made the shoe-room more friendly (less muddy) when entering the hall for both group sits and meals. Yes, the dining hall and meditation hall were in the same building! A office cubicle type partition separated the two and a white cloth separated the women's dining hall from the men's. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-hRXNJl8hts8/Tv5IyjPVr4I/AAAAAAAAAig/NMzszg1QucY/s288/occidental_Christmas_course-5.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-hRXNJl8hts8/Tv5IyjPVr4I/AAAAAAAAAig/NMzszg1QucY/s720/occidental_Christmas_course-5.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Accommodations were tight; women were often left in the bathroom line while the next group sit had already begun. Cushions were close in the hall. Walking the dining room with a full tray of vipassana food was like a dance to avoid bumping one another. The kitchen staff worked nearly non stop through the course keeping a constant load of clean dishes ready for use. <br /><br />The dormitories had six bunk beds, so provided space for twelve meditators. This made for wonderful antics such as the battle to control the heater and the three windows. Every night, the room temperature was different as we slept. (Note that this was in spite of the posted sign stating: Please ask a manager to adjust the heat). The first few nights I woke up in a hot sweat. But, since I probably not the only one, somebody opened a window and soon it was more like the 40 degree weather outside.<br /><br />Each person had a distinctive way of either slamming the door with a bang or slowly guiding it closed with a whisper. A number of my dorm-mates were sleep talkers which provided amusement for the insomniacs. I suppose it could have been really bad, but I actually enjoyed sharing in such an intimate experience with them all.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-dY3jTnoQYBk/Tv5Ih44jGII/AAAAAAAAAh4/OkwnLHJfPjg/s288/occidental_Christmas_course-2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-dY3jTnoQYBk/Tv5Ih44jGII/AAAAAAAAAh4/OkwnLHJfPjg/s720/occidental_Christmas_course-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>There were not very long walking paths, but enough to get the heart pumping if you wanted to. The food was delicious, as usual, following similar recipes to the North Fork vipassana center.<br /><br />Very few people left the course before the end, which seemed to be a good sign. All together it didn't have the cushy luxury of the North Fork center, but provided a fun setting for a special holiday. Christmas was on Day six, and I could not think of a better way to spend it.<br /><br />Perhaps the best part is that when the course was over, we were able to break all the rules (since we were no longer on official vipassana course land). This meant that on Day 11, we gave hugs goodbye, and one guy played his melodious Indian raga flute for us all. Physical touch and music of any kind are always prohibited at course centers. I like breaking rules, especially with flute music in the forest on a cold foggy morning.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-22k3Xvzk3pk/Tv5Il3ppHdI/AAAAAAAAAiA/Bl1WReuKCQA/s540/occidental_Christmas_course-4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 540px; height: 360px;" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-22k3Xvzk3pk/Tv5Il3ppHdI/AAAAAAAAAiA/Bl1WReuKCQA/s540/occidental_Christmas_course-4.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-36373988341270735942011-12-30T14:47:00.000-08:002011-12-30T15:32:42.914-08:00Learning More About Actualism<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-6htIwpCv6NU/TSun06dIiOI/AAAAAAAAAY0/XrY0pgQ4INs/s288/monterey_bay_aquarium-7.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-6htIwpCv6NU/TSun06dIiOI/AAAAAAAAAY0/XrY0pgQ4INs/s720/monterey_bay_aquarium-7.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>I've mentioned the practice of actualism to some friends and so put together this list of links for them to discover more about the practice. The website can be a bit confusing, and often off-putting to people at first. <br /><br />Here is <a href="http://actualfreedom.com.au/library/topics/method.htm">the practice</a> in a nutshell:<br />http://actualfreedom.com.au/library/topics/method.htm<br /><br />I think this quote sums up the intention of the practice pretty well, and it is from perhaps the most detailed and technical explanation of the technique - presented in the article, <a href="http://actualfreedom.com.au/richard/articles/attentivenesssensuousnessapperceptiveness.htm">"Attentiveness and Sensuousness and Apperceptiveness"</a>. This article gives a more detailed explanation of how to practice the method outlined in the previous link.<br />http://actualfreedom.com.au/richard/articles/attentivenesssensuousnessapperceptiveness.htm<br /><blockquote>"The intent is you will become happy and harmless. The intent is you will be free of sorrow and malice. The intent is you will become blithesome and benign. The intent is you will be free of fear and aggression. The intent is you will become carefree and considerate. The intent is you will be free from nurture and desire. The intent is you will become gay and benevolent. The intent is you will be free of anguish and animosity. The intent is that, by being free of the Human Condition you will experience peace-on-earth, in this life-time, as this body..." - Richard</blockquote>Also, I recommend the <a href="http://actualfreedom.com.au/library/">Library</a> for searching general topics of interest, and it also provides a link to the FAQ page:<br />http://actualfreedom.com.au/library<br /><br />For someone who may be less interested in the technical details but would enjoy a fun <a href="http://actualfreedom.com.au/introduction/universe.htm">introductory tour</a>, this link could be useful:<br />http://actualfreedom.com.au/introduction/universe.htm<br /><br />Enjoy, and be happy.Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-61897670021748772342011-12-02T13:30:00.000-08:002011-12-02T14:31:20.369-08:00A Big Huggin' Apology<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhozzxRB9qEYBeiKz5ipBDHYM__A9atyqdAHucw10_0rZdlygMHtFXUDSxq04Gfhp3R9a_wBVCmUWmpnA34Bh21T5hhIiiK77RIFBTciG0uzvPRNbZ653HYuvhGZfjyoIq7Gn97jaxceHdr/s1600/Duncan_10_weeks-8.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhozzxRB9qEYBeiKz5ipBDHYM__A9atyqdAHucw10_0rZdlygMHtFXUDSxq04Gfhp3R9a_wBVCmUWmpnA34Bh21T5hhIiiK77RIFBTciG0uzvPRNbZ653HYuvhGZfjyoIq7Gn97jaxceHdr/s400/Duncan_10_weeks-8.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5681647065456849122" /></a>I haven't written in a while, it's true. Perhaps you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. Or, if not, then just look at the cute baby pictured here until you start giggling. <br /><br />It may be that I didn't have much that I wanted to write over the last few months, but also I probably forgot how useful this blog has been for keeping in touch with the multitude of great people I meet in life.<br /><br />OK. Perhaps for a come-back post I might just write a little bit about what has been going on for me. I went on another meditation retreat last August at the North Fork Vipassana Center, and I'm headed to Occidental in a couple weeks for the 10-day Christmas course in the Goenka tradition. <br /><br />I haven't been practicing the Goenka technique so much, however. I had a great conversation with Daniel Ingram, author of "<a href="http://www.interactivebuddha.com/mctb.shtml">Mastering The Core Teachings Of The Buddha</a>," and I guess I'd say I'm practicing meditation now in a way most similar to his particular teachings. Of course, he isn't so specific on what he recommends, he places more of an emphasis on the basic understanding (the three characteristics of anicca, anatta, and dukkha) and doing whatever one knows best to give 100% attention to these characteristics from moment-to-moment in each moment again and again. Well, that's my paraphrasing anyway. If you want to know more, you can read his (hardcore) Dharma book.<br /><br />Other than meditation, I have been devoting a great deal of effort to the practice of Actualism - a technique which has as its specific goal: <a href="http://actualfreedom.com.au/library/topics/happy.htm">happiness</a>, <a href="http://actualfreedom.com.au/library/topics/harmless.htm">harmlessness</a>, <a href="http://actualfreedom.com.au/library/topics/peace.htm">peace on Earth</a>, and the end of <a href="http://actualfreedom.com.au/library/topics/delusion.htm">delusion</a>. These are the questions which stay at or near the forefront of my mind: In short, how to live with the sensibility to live peacefully and happily with my fellow humans.<br /><br />I've also been taking classes at a local community college with the intent to build a new career. Many of the topics I've been studying have been directly relevant to life as well. I finally took General Psychology, which is funny since I've already learned so much about psychology indirectly anyway. As a side note, I find it fascinating how new this science is. Many of the discoveries of psychology have come only in the last century or two, and it's clear that there are still many errors in the current mainstream of psychological thought. If I had more of a disposition toward academia and research, I might try my hand at contributing to this developing field.<br /><br />As for this physical world of trees, cars, people, clouds and such, I have continued to explore and discover: I just made it through a wild <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/violent-wind-storm-leaves-path-of-destruction-in-california-other-western-states/2011/12/02/gIQA2fUlJO_story.html">once-in-a-decade windstorm</a> here in California. I discovered a Japanese mini-mall in my extended neighborhood. I heard the dribbling trickling sound of waves rolling across pebbles at <a href="http://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=549">Wilder Ranch State Park.</a> I watched one heat of the <a href="http://www.oneill.com/cwc/SantaCruz.html">O'Niells Cold Water Classic</a> surf contest. And, of course I can't just be an observer, so I jumped in the cold ocean of Santa Cruz a few times too.<br /><br />I think I will try to write more here. Things have changed a lot for me (as things tend to do) but part of the fun of blogging must be to see the evolution of thoughts and events through time.Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-38555641612067831692011-01-07T13:23:00.000-08:002011-01-07T14:29:09.736-08:00Back To The CushionWell, after a lot of fun with family, friends, and close companions during the holidays... I'm now returning to the cushion for some more meditation. Two things are on my agenda. First, I've signed up for another Goenka retreat at the North Fork Vipassana Center in early February. It's been a while since I've been on formal retreat, so this should be fun! And Second, I've started working with a new meditation teacher, <a href="http://kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/">Kenneth Folk</a>. He really seems to fit for where I'm at and what my goals are right now. I'm finding it much easier to understand the technique with his guidance and to really know exactly what I'm doing and how to best use my time.<br /><br />So, I'm back on the cushion and practicing with a gusto. I will probably post more soon on how things progress. <br /><br />WonderfulDaniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-45448787744014357392010-12-21T12:03:00.000-08:002010-12-21T12:39:03.932-08:00Sensousness in Every Moment<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBeeg4k8TI/AAAAAAAAAPg/Aiz0QiGZ8IU/s720/Big_Sur_2010-21.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBeeg4k8TI/AAAAAAAAAPg/Aiz0QiGZ8IU/s288/Big_Sur_2010-21.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>I'm sitting in the library, enjoying a cold Tuesday in California, and this is what's on my mind - Sensuousness.<br /><br />Here's the definition I use for sensuousness (taken from <a href="http://">The Free Dictionary</a><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"> "Highly appreciative of the pleasures of sensation."</span><br /><br />This library has a soft yellow tone across the walls, floors, and the faces of the people around me. The yellow comes from the buzzing florescent bulbs overhead, evenly spaced across the ceiling. The columns of the library's structure are painted purple, which gives a bright contrast to the yellow - though even these walls are subject to the cast of florescent light.<br /><br />What does it mean to see? What is it to see color?<br /><br />In contemplating the idea of beauty, I'm tempted to ask why certain wavelengths of visible light would be considered more "beautiful" in certain arrangements than other wavelengths. How radical that there is even a wavelength at all. A vibration hits my retina creating the visual sense. The amount of wiggle in this vibration is defined in terms of wavelength, frequency, etc. Light is wiggling my retina. This is sensuousness - the joy of being wiggled.<br /><br />Every moment, my senses are attentive. Input is being received and processed. The sound of my fingers clicking keys on my keyboard ride over the soft sounds of librarians voices, swiping bar-codes on the library checkout machines, a photocopy machine making rhythmic sweeps behind me.<br /><br />I open my senses - panoramic. Dropping the specifics, I tune into the pleasure of sensing in and of itself. This sensing is every moment. This sensing is a dazzling symphony of sensory changes.<br /><br />As humans, most of us are aware that each moment of our life is never to be repeated. Each moment is "the moment of a lifetime." Each is unique, fleeting, and never to come again. And yet, with each passing moment, we are still "here," it is still "now." How do we spend these moments? <br /><br />What are you doing right now? I'm typing on my keyboard, listening softly to the sounds around me. Whatever it is that we may be doing... right now sensuousness is available. The pleasure of sensing itself, which is the pleasure of actuality. The pleasure of being a sensate being in intimacy with our physical surroundings.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBgnWWvFsI/AAAAAAAAARg/k9sw5mY8960/s288/Big_Sur_2010-45.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBgnWWvFsI/AAAAAAAAARg/k9sw5mY8960/s288/Big_Sur_2010-45.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Sensuousness is intimacy, and sensuousness is the window into the perfection of this universe. Sensuousness is what makes the actuality of this physical universe so ultimately satisfying. Sensuousness can't be imagined, and can't be found in any fantasy. It is only available here and now... but in this very moment it is available in abundance.<br /><br />Enjoy your holidays. <br /><br />- DanielDaniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-4801694482052907592010-11-21T16:40:00.000-08:002010-11-21T16:40:00.427-08:00A Bias Toward The Facts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBj1uzhfyI/AAAAAAAAAUQ/Yr-COK4MjWc/s288/Big_Sur_2010-81.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBj1uzhfyI/AAAAAAAAAUQ/Yr-COK4MjWc/s288/Big_Sur_2010-81.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>I've come to a thrilling conclusion which may be reflected in my blog writing from now on and perhaps in my personality as well. The conclusion I've come to is a clear and unequivocal preference for... the facts. (Ah, it's nice to say.)<br /><br />I know that Albert Einstein was quoted as saying “imagination is more important than knowledge,” and I am now clearly standing up to say “not for me, it isn't.” This may come as a surprise to some who know me because that used to be one of my favorite quotes. And, perhaps if one wants to win the Nobel prize for theoretical physics, then maybe “imagination is more important than knowledge.” I'm not interested in winning any prizes for my theories however, so I will stick to the facts. <br /><br />So far what my experience shows is that for the sake of living a happy and harmonious life, for living peacefully with myself and with others, and for living in this world with some degree of sense and sensibility, then facts are most important and imagination is not even useful. Wow. I said it. And that's a fact.<br /><br />To introduce my bias more formally, I will refer to that excellent resource – the dictionary - to elaborate a bit.<blockquote>Fact (<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fact">dictionary.com</a>) <br /> /fækt/<br />–noun<br />1. something that actually exists; reality; truth: Your fears have no basis in fact.<br /><br />2. something known to exist or to have happened: Space travel is now a fact.<br /><br />3. a truth known by actual experience or observation; something known to be true: Scientists gather facts about plant growth.</blockquote>Facts have many advantages, given that they exist regardless of our opinions, beliefs, theories, and stances on them. What a relief it is to discover something so dependable. A fact is indisputable given that it is so easily confirmed through one's sensory experience. What a relief to discover such consistency. And, a fact is nothing personal, so there's no need to take offense. <br /><br />One of the most challenging facts for a human being, is the fact of our own mortality. We are all going to die. But, look... it's dependable, it's consistent, it's indisputable, and bottom line... it's nothing personal. Hmmm... <br /><br />Here's another fact: <blockquote>Two-hundred and fifty million year-old bacteria, Bacillus permians, were revived from stasis after being found in sodium chloride crystals in a cavern in New Mexico... it is the oldest living thing ever recorded.<br /><br />A Great Basin Bristlecone Pine (Pinus longaeva) called Prometheus was measured by ring count at 4,862 years old when it was felled in 1964. This is the greatest verified age for any living organism at the time of its killing.<br /><br />- <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_long-living_organisms">wikipedia</a></blockquote>Certainly, the facts will continue to make an appearance here on this blog as I continue to explore this whole business called being alive. I invite you to join me in welcoming the facts, and perhaps we can explore together. What a wonder it is to be alive. Yet, there it is, a plain fact, as plain as day... we are alive now. And, there's no arguing that.Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-24853482246313674092010-11-19T15:34:00.000-08:002010-11-19T16:19:22.891-08:00Cushion Report: November Noting Practice<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBf38SY8NI/AAAAAAAAAQw/YjU3nVUyAW4/s288/Big_Sur_2010-36.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBf38SY8NI/AAAAAAAAAQw/YjU3nVUyAW4/s288/Big_Sur_2010-36.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>I spent the last few days on meditation retreat at home with the intention to do rigorous noting practice (vipassana) morning to night with a bigger picture goal of trying to solve this human condition I find myself in. This is an edited report of what I experienced and some things I noticed in the practice. Hopefully it may be of some use to someone out there reading it, or if you have a comment to add, please let me know.<br /><br />With regards to the noting practice specifically, I was inspired a phrase I read recently: “keep going with this single-minded no-brains-required noting task,” from a meditation teacher named Tarin. After reading that, I decided to try a dumbed-down noting practice... to really suck all the brains out of it, so to speak... just to see what would happen. I liked the initial results and decided to give it a test run on a three-day retreat. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBgfGdxFXI/AAAAAAAAARQ/C_pJc2NevvQ/s288/Big_Sur_2010-43.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBgfGdxFXI/AAAAAAAAARQ/C_pJc2NevvQ/s288/Big_Sur_2010-43.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>My formal noting practice moves incredibly slow, as I find the actual skill of creating verbal notes in my mind to be one which probably must be developed like a muscle. I would say that I was able to note at a rate of about 1-2 notes per second for about 60% of the day on day 1. That number fell to about 30% of the day on day 2, and about 40% of the day on day 3. The rate never went much slower than 1-2 per second, unless I got restless, tense, or stressed in which case I would lose focus so much that I would slow down as much as to 1 per 10 minutes or so. But, luckily my actualism practice has really cut back the amount of time I spend being restless, tense or stressed. And, that enabled me to enjoy the process enough to be able to maintain this more rapid noting pace (1-2 per second). Any attempt to go faster than 2 per second usually resulted in a blur where I would again lose focus and my noting would have no correlation to what was actually being experienced.<br /><br />That was for what I might call my “formal” or “conscious” noting practice. Now, also in the “background” so to speak, I was often noticing at a rate of perhaps 10-20 per second. And what I mean by that is that, given all the mindfulness training I've already done, my mind sometimes automatically becomes mindful of experience at a very rapid pace. But, I could hardly say that “I was noting.” It seems more accurate to say that experience arises and I notice it with some clarity and precision at a rate of about 10-20 notices per second. Perhaps I could call this “noticing” practice. This is more of a background, and automatic awareness practice that seems like a blend of Goenka and a lot of the other awareness stuff I've done in the past.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBhRPS7W7I/AAAAAAAAASE/jTgSFg8pTEM/s288/Big_Sur_2010-53.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBhRPS7W7I/AAAAAAAAASE/jTgSFg8pTEM/s288/Big_Sur_2010-53.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Overall, it still seems to me that the most effective vipassana practice that I've done so far isn't noting or body-scanning, but more along the lines of what Christopher Titmuss taught when I was on retreat with him, and that was to take a genuine interest in what's happening right now. I say this, because I try to really inquire what is working here and what isn't? What is the actual vipassana technique? How can I actually get Vipassana to work full-time – and not have it occasionally become some lifeless task?<br /><br />I think it comes back to sincerity again. Vipassana seems to be a certain blend of awareness and involvement which leads to the moment in which experience is just seen for what it is – completely, and clearly. And, it seems that getting that blend just right is a matter of sincerity more than a matter of technique. I could be wrong, I suppose, but I just can't seem to figure it out any other way. To put this into context, I'd say rather than I was noting 60% of the day on day 1, it'd be more accurate that perhaps I had a sincere alignment with Vipassana for 60% of the day on day 1. Make sense?<br /><br />Overall, my experience is that the noting technique is useful, perhaps even more so than body-scanning, but the biggest barrier to success doesn't seem to lie in which technique is used, but the barrier to success is in actually doing the technique. That is still the greatest mystery for me... how to actually do the doing of the technique? Or, how to do the doing of the practice? I find it incredibly frustrating, and also somewhat fascinating in it's mystery. Right now, it seems that I just seem to go through some kind of natural cycle where all of a sudden, things align and boom... I'm actually doing the technique... and then all of a sudden boom... it's gone and I'm just trying to do the technique. And, then I try and try and try and nothing works and then all of a sudden boom... I'm doing it.... and then boom... I'm not doing it. What I would love is to be able to just turn it on, let it go and do the thing until it's done. But, I haven't yet discovered how to do that. Maybe I'm way off here.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBiMBEM6aI/AAAAAAAAAS0/WmotZ6htxd4/s288/Big_Sur_2010-63.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBiMBEM6aI/AAAAAAAAAS0/WmotZ6htxd4/s288/Big_Sur_2010-63.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Regarding the fruit of the practice, I'm still uncertain as to what exactly the effect is on my psyche. Clearly this practice brings awareness and dispels illusions. Both of those are most welcome. Clearly the awareness gained leads to greater sensibility. But, what's still unclear for me is with regards to the human condition within myself (fear, misery, anger, malice, greed, hatred, delusion, etc.). Does this practice lead to freedom from the human condition via dis-identification with impermanent phenomenon, and therefore to take the juice out of fear, misery, anger, malice, etc.? Or does it actually bring these phenomenon to an end, such that they no longer arise? I'd prefer the later. The inquiry for me continues not just into what is it that makes vipassana work?... but also what does vipassana do? And for that matter all other kinds of meditation, etc. Whatever the results, I'm quite throughly enjoying the journey and the process of discovery as it continues to unfold.<br /><br />As a side note, I can see how concentration (the act of focusing on a given task) is crucial for success in any of these endeavors. Without being able to stay with the task at hand, I doubt success would be possible. My practice over the last few days shows me once again that concentration can lead to an incredible quality of mind. The mind becomes cleaner, quieter, more penetrating, more peaceful, happier, blissful even, and more capable of intelligence and discernment with whatever task is presented. <br /><br />Also, a concentrated mind seems to have the ability to produce some pretty altered states of consciousness, and the associated delusions with those states of consciousness. Perhaps another way to put it seems concentration can bring a much greater sense of realism to the imagination. An ordinary imagination becomes a vivid 3-D full body fantasy with some strong concentration. And, an ordinary passion becomes a vivid mind-blowing ecstatic passion with strong concentration. So, concentration seems to have more of an intensifying effect which may or may not be helpful depending on how it is used.<br /><br />The ordinary every day concentration born of sincere interest and genuine intent seems sufficient for most inquiry, but the power of a strongly concentrated mind can't be denied either. And, that seems to be the kind of thing that is only generated through some amount of sustained practice (like on retreat).<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBiAgVMh1I/AAAAAAAAASs/HjiezgjXxmk/s288/Big_Sur_2010-61.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBiAgVMh1I/AAAAAAAAASs/HjiezgjXxmk/s288/Big_Sur_2010-61.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Still, the burning inside of me to know, to discover, to inquire, to get to the bottom of this, and to get it done... well... that's still there. It hasn't gone anywhere, although I think I could gladly say that some of the emotional stress and conflict over this expedition has lessened – making it both more enjoyable and more functional.<br /><br />What to do with my time? I haven't been meditating as much lately, and this is actually the first meditation retreat I've done in a while now. I mostly have been doing meditation practice as an eyes-open thing throughout the day, or in bed at night and in the morning. I'm still re-evaluating the usefulness of retreat time, and if I spend more time with eyes-open practice and less time on the cushion, it will definitely open up the question... what to do with my time?<br /><br />I guess I'm still discovering the answer to that question. Whatever the case, it is certainly a joy to be alive on this planet, isn't it?Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-42747824265039403692010-11-08T12:57:00.000-08:002010-11-10T17:26:25.657-08:00Return of the Outdoorsman<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBfsIYbNBI/AAAAAAAAAQo/M0lZxbvzkCQ/s288/Big_Sur_2010-34.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 288px;" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBfsIYbNBI/AAAAAAAAAQo/M0lZxbvzkCQ/s288/Big_Sur_2010-34.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Rugged and rough... beard like a grizzly... I'm getting wild out here with some California living.<br /><br />Photos are now posted from my backpacking trip to Big Sur <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/bhavanatraveler/BigSurCA">online here</a>. <br /><br />I haven't written in a while, but for the last few weeks I've been enjoying the perks of living on planet Earth. I went surfing twice now, as well as a backpacking trip down the coast. <br /><br />It's hard to live in Santa Cruz county and not be tempted to jump in the salty cold ocean once in a while. Getting on a board again after probably 9 years of no surfing brought back some good memories. There is something magical about dunking my head underwater, hearing the rush of water fill my ears, and feeling the blast of cold on my face. Then, lifting my head, shaking the water off and breathing deeply as I gaze out at the rock cliffs surrounding me. Sitting atop a board as the slow unbroken waves pass underneath, the rhythm of rising and falling, I don't have to think about much of anything. I just smile like a child, floating, floating, floating. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBg_AFhTzI/AAAAAAAAAR4/94xS3cjBpdQ/s288/Big_Sur_2010-50.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBg_AFhTzI/AAAAAAAAAR4/94xS3cjBpdQ/s288/Big_Sur_2010-50.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>The first surf session was mellow. Kids half my height were learning on the close shore breaks. My long time friend, Lori, was really trying to get me stoked on the thrill of surfing again, but still I think the best part was just the water. Being wet is really fun - wet salty hair, wet splashes on my faces, wet eyebrows even. The surfing was fun too, and standing on top of a surge of water while traveling in to shore almost makes me giggle. <br /><br />I bought a wetsuit a couple days later, and then was back out - this time at Manresa state beach. The waves were head-high, and the air was cold. The crisp sounds of pounding waves on sand were a constant background for adventure. I got pummeled by a few waves, tossed around much less elegantly than the first trip out. After catching a couple waves, I stumbled back to shore out of breath and with a frigid headache. Even being beaten by the onslaught of a vast ocean brings such a fullness to being alive. The senses of the body become alert to the pressures and pushes across every inch of skin. I returned to the parking lot for the post-surf ritual of squeezing out of the wetsuit and into a fresh, dry towel. The salt dried into my hair leaving a sticky residue. The car had a noticeable stillness to it when compared with the tumbles of the ocean.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBgUE0hJaI/AAAAAAAAARI/KKuL2Cs9oVg/s288/Big_Sur_2010-41.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBgUE0hJaI/AAAAAAAAARI/KKuL2Cs9oVg/s288/Big_Sur_2010-41.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Alexandra, who joined me for the second surf session, was also my companion for a trip into the wilderness of Big Sur. We chose the remote Fresno Camp, way off the beaten path - literally! In fact, the path is so overgrown, that our hike took twice as long just to plow through the bushes. Just enough trail existed for us to keep following down into a quiet valley by the San Antonio creek. The campsite was smack in a riverbed which floods over in the rainy season. We couldn't have picked a better time, since it was right before the first fall rains hit a couple weeks ago. The solitude was refreshing, the mountains were towering above, and the weather was sunny and bright. The cold creek offered yet another chance to get my hair wet and take a dip. The water flowed down over shimmering rocks and opened into pools one to two feet deep. A biodegradable soap allowed for a sudsy scrub down after a tiring (and poison oak filled) hike in. The camp food tasted delicious as always in the small metal pot that had been heated over the fire. There was no one in sight from start to finish during our two nights of camping and hiking. But even if we'd been lonely, the gnats still swarmed and cuddled with us.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBiy6VqLUI/AAAAAAAAATU/859mVhUfyLQ/s288/Big_Sur_2010-69.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBiy6VqLUI/AAAAAAAAATU/859mVhUfyLQ/s288/Big_Sur_2010-69.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>After emerging from the dirty wilderness, we drove to the icon of luxury - The Hearst Castle. I'm not sure if I ever went there as a kid, but it was great to finally see it as an adult. <br /><br />We also saw the elephant seals of San Simeon. The female elephant seals were sleeping in piles on the beach, while young males were sparring and testing their strength in the low water where the waves came in.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBiFekqTXI/AAAAAAAAASw/tfHbJlqz6qw/s288/Big_Sur_2010-62.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TNBiFekqTXI/AAAAAAAAASw/tfHbJlqz6qw/s288/Big_Sur_2010-62.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Daylight savings ends bringing the real darkness of winter. The rains have hit hard, and work has been wet and cold a couple times now. Fall potatoes, squash, and greens have arrived too, and I'll be roasting the veggies away at home in Felton.<br /><br />What a planet, eh?Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-59664830014402789352010-10-12T19:14:00.000-07:002015-12-08T14:30:51.119-08:00Update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9qjFdwLFtqwfSXMm3gThmwqToXM7EFARArKS2DW4nGaLY0D1YwBFA4fAoF9BSgXXA1SLxCtrJZxtphdwziF-uh_r45oSC_W7zmx8SzeHs2BIgEwqLzRfkVEtA61L2Gclh-DFFStRtnhSM/s1600/Capture.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527350768034582418" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9qjFdwLFtqwfSXMm3gThmwqToXM7EFARArKS2DW4nGaLY0D1YwBFA4fAoF9BSgXXA1SLxCtrJZxtphdwziF-uh_r45oSC_W7zmx8SzeHs2BIgEwqLzRfkVEtA61L2Gclh-DFFStRtnhSM/s400/Capture.JPG" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 203px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
As you may notice, I've updated the look of my blog to stay current with the changes in my life. Rather than explain all the reasons and philosophies behind the change, I'll just leave it to be discovered by those who may be reading and following along, and I'll leave this post as history of what came and went.<br />
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As my life continues to change, I'm looking around at this world I live in with new eyes. I'm looking with fascination and marvel at this very physical universe. <br />
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In this world, there are trees. There are squirrels. There are people. There is a bright blue sky which spans out into the greatest depths of infinite space. There is the light of the sun which trickles down through leaves, shutters, and shades to reach this fantastic sense organ called the eye. <br />
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There is a human being seeing, thinking, and typing. There are the molecules of organic matter composing an intricate and richly layered organism of cells, tissues, and organs. There is this whole business called being alive.<br />
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Why is it that a Human Being, living in this verdant paradise still lives with anger and aggresion? Why is it that a Human Being lives with fear, stress, and anxiety? Why the violence? Why the corruption? Why the sorrow? This is what we call the human condition.<br />
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Here I am, alive in this moment. And here is a fresh start.</div>
Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-2996487596906451092010-10-07T16:03:00.000-07:002012-06-20T13:50:58.213-07:00Going Beyond Beauty<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_i-Ew-YQdt0U/TEn4uj-iA8I/AAAAAAAABl0/1S_VidtJOUU/s288/leaf_view.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_i-Ew-YQdt0U/TEn4uj-iA8I/AAAAAAAABl0/1S_VidtJOUU/s288/leaf_view.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 192px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 288px;" /></a>I woke up this morning, feeling fresh, well rested. I looked across the room to the blue curtain hanging by the brown wooden window frame. The contrast of bright blue on woody brown was stunning and I decided to linger with my attention there for a minute. As I continued to enjoy this vivid display of color, a sense of beauty arose in me.<br />
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"That's beautiful," I thought to myself, while looking at this vivid blue on brown arrangement of light.<br />
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"Ah, beauty!" I thought to myself next. I had been eagerly awaiting a chance to explore this beauty thing in greater depth. What is this thing we call beautiful? I investigated inwardly with an attentive curiousity. Ah, yes... beauty is a feeling, an emotion!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_i-Ew-YQdt0U/TJ0wO2jlwlI/AAAAAAAABt8/Cw--T6XLpyM/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-23.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_i-Ew-YQdt0U/TJ0wO2jlwlI/AAAAAAAABt8/Cw--T6XLpyM/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-23.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 288px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 192px;" /></a>It sounds strange even writing it now, but in the moment it's so clear. Beauty is my enjoyment of my concept about the show of light I was watching. It's a sorta inward vibing with myself and my own thought "this is beautiful." Because I have concieved that I'm observing a "beautiful thing," I can experience a sorta inward pleasure with myself. Because "I" am witnessing the beauty, and because "I" am a part of this beauty - I get a warm pleasure inside. In essence, the beauty wouldn't even exist if not for "me!" and what a wonderful boost this is for "me."<br />
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"Ah, yes... this is what I've been calling "beauty." What a waste! Let me throw that out," I thought next. The absurdity of it required no further investigation. "Now, let me see what this experience actually is," I continued with the inquiry. What is this blue and brown? What is this seeing? What are these sensations in my eyeballs which are percieving color - vibrant, active, radiating.<br />
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I continued to look at the colors with the directness of my actual eyes. Abandoning the safe space behind the eyes where I could sit and observe - the safe space where "I" still exist. I lept forward, into the colors themselves, into my eyeballs, into the sensations. The colors were the sensations, the curtains were the colors, my eyes were the sensing. The sensing was active. These colors were not dead, lifeless, inert. These colors were now! These colors, the actual experience, was actually happening. Light entering eyeballs, a selection of wavelengths percieved by the sensitive apparatus of the visual organ. Each wavelength unique and distinct by it's very factual existence. The sensing was the most intimate and direct contact with these already existant colors.<br />
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Delight would be a small understatement. Pleasure fits well. What a joy these colors were. The joy was the sensing - there was no gap. No sensing first and then enjoying. The sensing was the enjoying. Sensuosness. The pure pleasure of unadulterated sensing. Actual color, actual light.<br />
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It was clear that I had left the territory known as the beautiful and was now traveling in a new landscape. This landscape was completely unknown as it's existence was only in the present moment. There was no way to have been there before, thus no way to have known it previously. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_i-Ew-YQdt0U/TJ0yGMFPZqI/AAAAAAAABuk/94xnLyQ_ltg/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-31.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_i-Ew-YQdt0U/TJ0yGMFPZqI/AAAAAAAABuk/94xnLyQ_ltg/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-31.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 288px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 230px;" /></a>What was "beauty" had now opened up into a new world of sight and seeing. Beauty had fallen by the wayside. Things still held some resemblence to that old image of beauty. The experience was still fascinating, scintillating, vibrant, stunning, wondrous, active and dynamic. The pleasure of it had only increased if anything. But, beautiful? A far cry. Such a personal and self-referential adjective couldn't possibly describe this experience which was so much more than "I" could ever be.<br />
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Ah... time passed and I sat down thinking, "maybe I should write about that experience." I began to reflect on it (as I'm also reflecting on it now while typing.) <br />
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Reflecting thus, "going beyond beauty. What a wonderful experience," I began again to tune into my experience. This time I sat at my computer, music playing, soft light coming in through the blinds.<br />
<br />
"Ah, yes. It's still here." *IT* being the actual universe as experienced through the sense organs. It is still here indeed! Ha! <br />
<br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TKKqGtMVLCI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/pY_4dXJQRaI/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-43.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TKKqGtMVLCI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/pY_4dXJQRaI/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-43.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 192px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 288px;" /></a>I hear the music and once again take the leap. The leap into the sensations themselves, free from my self. The music surrounds me, it approaches from every angle, as I sit in the music itself - In the hearing, at the exact point of dynamic contact. The colors blend with sound, as it all becomes just raw sensation. This time the pleasure nears overwhelm, and literally knocks the breath out of me. I recoil to catch my breath. Physical waves of pleasure move through the entirety of my body. <br />
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This is new. <br />
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I've never ventured this far out before - this far beyond "the beautiful." <br />
<br />
Habitual reactions come up. Mostly fear. "Oh, this is too much," and "oh, I can't take this," and "I can't handle this," and "this isn't good," etc. <br />
<br />
I pause and consider the facts: Well, certainly I wouldn't live very long if I'm not breathing, so catching my breath is a sound idea. But, having the breath knocked out of me is just a startle response to the rather surprising stimuli of such intense pleasure. There's nothing about the pleasure itself that is overwhelming. Ok, excuse diverted.<br />
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I continued the inquiry. "Could I live there forever?" And the next fear became clear: "Ah... but it will consume all of me. Like a black hole, it will absorb me completely." And for some reason this seems "scary"? The scariness of it evades me at this moment. A flurry of other reactions and resistance shows it's head - all of it unfounded in any sort of sensibility. <br />
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<a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TKUFOhuXWZI/AAAAAAAAAGM/09D3WAbebCo/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-52.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TKUFOhuXWZI/AAAAAAAAAGM/09D3WAbebCo/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-52.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 192px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 288px;" /></a>It's like a tin can called "beauty" was sitting on my shelf and I naively decided to open it. "Experience" popped out, and now there's no getting it back in. In fact, I'm not sure I can even find the can anymore.<br />
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I sit, continuing to type. Yes, there is still work to do. This isn't, at all, the end of the journey, but the end of this little tale. A tale which continues on as this moment, "this only moment of being alive."</div>Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-63931160790817851892010-10-06T14:23:00.000-07:002010-10-06T14:31:15.354-07:00Reader's Write: "Where Do You Work?"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://picasaweb.google.com/pu101daniel"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 192px; height: 288px;" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_WSIWyUYu5cw/TKJD5EiatwI/AAAAAAAAAC0/KpIryZ2gzOQ/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-12.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>A friend writes: <blockquote>"Nice one, cutting the hours back to practice. Where do you work that lets you do that, lucky."</blockquote>My job is wonderful, and I feel very fortunate to have it. It doesn't pay a lot, and there isn't really any "upward mobility" or "career ladder" to climb. But, it is lots of fun, and the people are great. Basically, I wake up at 4am, eat an omellette, and then drive to meet my carpool from which point we continue on to Wattsonville. There we pick up a truck which has been loaded with super fresh fruits and veggies (mostly picked the day before) and start driving up toward the<br />Bay Area.<br /><br />By the time I arrive, it's around 7am, the sun is up, people are laughing, and the day is getting underway. We set up our veggie stand at the Farmer's Market (I'm in Berkeley on Saturday and Montclaire on Sunday) and start selling by 9am. It's fast paced hustle and bustle - not at all like Safeway. We weigh people's food by old time scales and geuestimate the prices to the nearest quarter. Sometimes I can take maybe about 20 customers per minute when things are really flying!<br /><br />We sell super fresh California delicious certified organic produce. It's seriously some of the highest quality food on the planet. Special Bonus: I get to take home as much as I want as well as "trade" with other vendors for whatever they are selling. My food bill averages about $10 per week. And, when I get it home, I don't even do fancy recipes or lots of spice because the food is so good and so fresh that it just bursts with flavour as-is. My favorite dish is to throw everything in a cast-iron pot with some olive oil (garlic, onions, potatoes, squash, broccoli, tomatoes, fennel with some fresh rosemary, marjoram, sage) a little salt - don't even cut them up, just cook 'em whole. And, eat them super hot right out of the pot. Simple food can taste so good.<br /><br />Before i know it, it's already 1PM, market's over and time to pack up and go home. I get back to the farm around 4:30pm, finish unloading the truck and getting it ready for the next day. Clock out with about a 12.5 hour day and drive home for a quick bubble bath and a few hours of sleep before I repeat the whole thing again the next day. So, right now I'm just working Saturday and Sunday (for a total of 25 hours)... and then mon-fri I have free to do whatever I want!Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-38937010210046200542010-09-24T16:15:00.000-07:002010-09-28T12:28:42.500-07:00Field Trip to the Fields<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX7AqFaaen16UHGbO1I66R3CIIbFGBEW0mtPHAythAIUkt8Lw1dsP5oaBVKuJukdnLfqdQzWIQoAKdY5XzCv1oqb4w9lT39LJmfjhDRjq9LoFHd8hxLHSoaFzEzZuatId3qaDv4eyCa9qS/s1600/backyard_heaven.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_i-Ew-YQdt0U/TJ0tWsgkwqI/AAAAAAAABsk/7bNpNnqjm_c/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498672953248245570" border="0" /></a>I may not be traveling anymore right now, but I can still take a field trip. So, last Monday about a dozen Happy Boy Farms employees (including myself) took a field trip out to the fields where our veggies are growing fresh and lively.<br /><br />One thing that can be said about the Happy Boy farmer's market workers is that we are our number one fans! Which is to say that we probably eat more of Happy Boy's produce than any of our other customers. The running joke is that the people at the grocery store must be laughing at us when they only ever see us buying dairy, toilet paper and beer. Well, maybe not exactly, but when all of our veggies, fruit, bread, rice and honey are coming fresh from the farmer's market, there's not much need for anything else.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX7AqFaaen16UHGbO1I66R3CIIbFGBEW0mtPHAythAIUkt8Lw1dsP5oaBVKuJukdnLfqdQzWIQoAKdY5XzCv1oqb4w9lT39LJmfjhDRjq9LoFHd8hxLHSoaFzEzZuatId3qaDv4eyCa9qS/s1600/backyard_heaven.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 0pt 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_i-Ew-YQdt0U/TJ0vVz7xR3I/AAAAAAAABtc/1zzF5SSOsq8/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-17.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498672953248245570" border="0" /></a>Mouths watering, we hit the fields. A few of the veggies were so tempting that they just had to be plucked on the spot. Other than eating watermelons and tomatoes in the field, I also took home a "first of the season" red kabocha squash, a few fresh red cippolini onions, and a handful of okra.<br /><br />California is such an amazing land. The skies were big and blue and the sun was shining hot. The majority of the fields we visited were in the Hollister and Gilroy area, although I don't know all the exact locations. Greg (the owner of the farm) was excited about our newest field because of the mix of long hours of sunshine with a cool coastal air - perfect for our baby lettuce!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX7AqFaaen16UHGbO1I66R3CIIbFGBEW0mtPHAythAIUkt8Lw1dsP5oaBVKuJukdnLfqdQzWIQoAKdY5XzCv1oqb4w9lT39LJmfjhDRjq9LoFHd8hxLHSoaFzEzZuatId3qaDv4eyCa9qS/s1600/backyard_heaven.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 288px; height: 192px;" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_i-Ew-YQdt0U/TJ0wPFcvGZI/AAAAAAAABuA/KbHOv8Nxpfk/s288/Happy_Boy_Field_Trip-01-24.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498672953248245570" border="0" /></a>The colors were beautiful, the smells were fresh, and the Happy Boys and Girls were smiling happily. Yum!<br /><br />By the way, I've used up all my free space on Picasa, so I started another account to fit the new photos:<br />http://picasaweb.google.com/bhavanatravelerDaniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8575344876049175186.post-24234583090350480512010-09-08T14:48:00.000-07:002010-09-08T14:48:00.431-07:00Jumping Off Trees in IndiaHere's a video that a friend took of me and some friends in India. This was day 39 of our 40 day retreat when we were first allowed to talk again, and we were invited to take boats out on the lake to get to know each other. <br /><br />I ended up in a boat with 4 other men. Men! So, what do you think we did? Well, we sang funny songs, and then decided to jump out of a tree about 30 feet high above the water. In the video, I'm the last one climbing up the tree, and also the first to jump. <br /><br />My friend Eskild took the video. He was also the guy in the room next to mine, so I saw him every day of the retreat as I had to walk through his room to get to the front door. The guy speaking French in the video was in the room on the other side of me. And the fourth guy was on the other side of the house. As we jump, we shout out: Asish Bhawan! (which was the name of the cottage we were living in.)<br /><br />Oh, what fun we had. <br /><br /><object width="500" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/A4NOhbWxW2Y?fs=1&hl=en_US&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/A4NOhbWxW2Y?fs=1&hl=en_US&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object>Daniel Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16345067215890621518noreply@blogger.com0