Last Words from Rishikesh...

Prudence, focused on meditation, stayed in her room for the majority of their stay. Lennon, who was worried that she was depressed, wrote this song for her, inviting her to "come out to play". Prudence explained years later that she was just trying to take Transcendental Meditation seriously. She said in Mojo magazine: "They were trying to be cheerful, but I wished they'd go away. I don't think they realized what the training was all about." - History of the song "Dear Prudence", (Wikipedia)
I'm in Rishikesh, and to be honest, going to see the Beatles ashram was about equally moving for me as seeing where the Buddha attained enlightenment.

Bodh Gaya was a little detached because there is a huge temple and thousands of pilgrims - not at all like the forest solitude which must have appealed to the Buddha 2500 years ago. The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi Ashram, however, looks much today as I imagine it looked 42 years ago when the Beatles made their pilgrimage there. It's very easy to imagine them walking down to the water and bathing in the Ganges after writing one of the 48 songs they wrote while staying there.

John Lennon is definitely one of my heroes. Maybe that's why I feel so inspired here.

But, right now, I'm feeling a little bit more like Prudence. The crowds are flowing in to Rishikesh (and Haridwar) for the big bathing day tomorrow as part of the Kumbh Mela celebration. It's packed, and I'm going right into the heart of it this evening to get to the train station. Rumors are that vehicles can only get within 3-7 kilometers of the train station, and we'll end up having to walk the rest of the way through swarms of pilgrims. I've got a couple travel buddies with me, though, to keep the spirits light.

Here's my own version of the song:
"Dr. Prudence,
Won't you stay inside and meditate... hey heyyy....

Dr. Prudence,
I like to meditate too... hoo hoo hoooooo....

Dr. Prudence,
I'm going to go meditate now.
For about 40 days... day hay hay hayyyy....."
John, please don't be mad at me.

Cushion Report: Six Days In The Lab

Beautiful Tree, Triund, IndiaAlthough it's a weird experience for me to try to share my meditations through these cushion reports, I've gotten some really great feedback that a number of people have gotten inspired to start meditating again. I smile, hearing that.

So, here is the report from my six day self-retreat here in Mcleod Ganj. I've edited this report down a lot. Usually, I'm not a fan of censorship, but there were a couple reasons:
1. It was REALLY long.
2. It probably just wouldn't make much sense to those who haven't practice meditation as much.
3. It may have inadvertently confused, offended, bored, depressed, upset (or who knows what else) to those who weren't really interested in reading that much detail. (If you find such a reaction anyway, please just disregard my ramblings and be happy!)
Anyway, here it goes ~
...

I'd been thinking about meditation and how it's like a completely different movement of the mind. Like a 5th dimension. Time, Space, and (to steal a word from Stephen Colbert) "Truthiness"... a dimension of truthiness from illusion to the Ultimate. And, meditation is movement along that 5th dimension.

Dharamsala Valley, IndiaI'm staying in Mcleod Ganj, India (home of the Dalai Lama), and thought it'd be good for a little self retreat (6 days). I managed it on about $7 per day for room and board, and had a beautiful rooftop terrace to do my walking meditation on (with eagles flying overhead!) I may come back and do it again someday, as it worked so well.

I was reading a little bit of Ch. 4 and 5 of Mastering The Core Teachings Of The Buddha to prepare, when something clicked. I instantly wanted to return to the lab and continue the experiment. I made a strong resolve to start right away and spend the entire six days focused on stepping out of the story and into the ultimate. To travel the 5th dimension!

With this boost of inspiration, I started strong, with long stretches of concentration - not missing a single breath. Psychological "stuff" started to emerge after about 3 hours of this, and moving into Day 2 as well. I felt like how I imagine the start of a Peyote trip would be. I was emotionally vomiting all the anger, blame, tightness, and other "stuff" that had been clogged up.

Around 3:00PM on Day 2, rather suddenly, the storm simply passed. There was calm, and the "trip" was officially underway.

Day 3: I switched from breath to sensations and my concentration was beginning to return. By the afternoon, I was getting emotional again, but this time with a heart much wider open. Not so much caught up in my personal story, but more filled with compassion for all beings.

I was feeling the pain of the Indian working man on the street... feeling the vulnerability of life when one customer spending 200 rupees ($5) could make or break your day! My heart ached.

Tibetan March, Dharamsala, IndiaKeeping with the meditation into the evening, I decided to attend the candle light march through the streets of Mcleod Ganj that night. The monks and lay people had gathered in protest of the killing of innocent Tibetans in China. This brought up a lot of emotions, and in particular there was one monk who every time I looked at him, I started crying. The look on his face told the a profound story. The release came from deep in my belly. There is a photo I took of him to the left.

The morning of Day 4: concentration was weak again. I realized that I was still only at the surface of the mind with the tears, thoughts, and insights. And, I realized that going to the depth (going to truthiness) meant going to the bare sensations.

Regroup and keep practicing.

Day 4 afternoon: I was having a rough time (lots of pain), so I decided to journal. My journaling itself became part of the process and after about 20 minutes I was dropping into some pretty profound states of peace. But, more important than the peace, I was really seeing Anicca (impermanence) from moment to moment with all that was arising. This lead to the awakening of equanimity within.

After this, my mind continued to calm down and sink into the peace. More ease, less suffering. Pains loosened, energy flowing. I didn't sleep much that night.

Day 5 morning: Energy channels were opening and flowing. Waves of pleasant sensations and relaxation through the body. When the mind was resting on objects, anicca (impermanence) and anatta (not-self) were seen.

The surface was happy and calm, but also present was a subtle restlessness and aversion to slowing down any more. Not sitting - pain in neck, back, hips, knees, but this was a quieter pain now. This felt like healing.

The resistance was now at a much subtler level. Equanimity was strong and very balanced. I continued to apply effort to keep peeling off layers from that core agitation, while also maintaining the balanced mind. Equanimity continued to strengthen into the afternoon. More energy was flowing, more peace. Concentration was still scattered, so I kept the effort on.

Morning of Day 6: Up at 4AM. Equanimity was still strong, and lots of Joy. With this came also lots of Pride, Arrogance, and rehearsing conversations. When I saw the pride and restless mind, I resolved to put fierce effort into anapana and still the mind. I spent about 2 hours in a battle (loving but fierce) to keep attention with the breath. It felt very appropriate, and then I just let go and napped for abut 30 minutes.

Rhododendron, IndiaUpon awakening again, I had a beautiful full body contraction with quivering. A "relaxing into, and release." (Feels kinda like finally going to the bathroom when you've been waiting a couple years to go)

Despite the anapana, the mind was still wandering. However, mindfulness and investigation were strengthening while equanimity was solid. "Discipline and acceptance - continue the process. Breath by Breath." - I wrote in my journal.

This continued through the morning and into the afternoon. Self-image defenses were arising, along with body pain again. Another storm had hit, but equanimity and happiness were still present and very little involvement with "my stuff."

Practicing a tip from Thanissarro Bhikkhu, I focused on the sensations of the Joy. This spread into more joy and metta. "Metta for my body, metta for my mom, metta for my watch, metta for my camera." This dance of pain and equanimity continued into the night.

Day 7: Retreat's over. I took a wonderful 18km hike up into the base of the Himalayas. (see my other blog post) I noticed a lot of residual restlessness and agitation, but overall I had a good "transition back day."

A quick note about posture: Given my recent health troubles, I took a resolve to "Gentle Perseverance" (Thanks, Constance Casey). During this retreat, I probably spent about 1 hour per day sitting, 1 hour per day walking, a couple hours around town and eating meals, etc. And, about 8-10 hours per day meditating in bed lying down (not to mention about 8 hours of sleep each night). A LOT of time in bed. Not very zazen of me, but it seemed to work well, and it didn't seem to impede much on the experiment at all.

Endless Hills, Dharamsala, IndiaLooking back on the whole thing now, I can see the very clear cycle of storms and peace coming and going. But, what's very cool to see is how each cycle was at a much deeper level. Each storm had less content and "stuff" and more root level dukkha (suffering). Each cycle of peace was vastly quieter and more expansive. Overall, I think this is the most conclusive result of my "lab work." Also, as far as results, I'm noticing a lot more joy, peace and contentment... and a LOT of compassion, especially for Tibet. Also, I'm feeling slightly more empowered to actually act on that compassion (less self-judgment about it)

I'm leaving for 50 days of retreat on March 15th, so I'll be back in the lab again soon. What a joy!

Hopefully that didn't put anybody's head into to much of a tail-spin (or head-spin?)

Metta from Mcleod Ganj, and thanks to everyone who has helped contribute to make it possible for me to be here practicing this work.

Travel Update: Leaving Town Again

St. John's Church, Dharamsala, IndiaOne last hike while up in the mountains took me to St. John's Church of the Wilderness. What a way to say goodbye to this beautiful mountain town. It's hard moving on sometimes, and this is one place where I will always have a little piece of my heart.

The Church of the Wilderness brought up a lot of metta (love) for Christianity, despite it's flaws. And also I was feeling a lot of love for the contribution that religion has made to architecture. I think, maybe, spiritual architecture may be one of the coolest achievements of mankind!

So, I'm getting on a bus tonight - third class, government bus. I think it's hit or miss whether I will regret this or not. It's a 12 hour overnight ride - just hope I have a friendly seat-mate.

I will end up in Rishikesh at some point tomorrow morning, where I'll be staying for one night. I'm excited about Rishikesh, as it's where the Beatles went to study with the great Maharishi. There's a bunch of yoga, ashrams and hippies there now.

I'll spend one night there, and then I'm going through Hardiwar on my way out of town the next day - on an overnight train to Sattal for my retreat.

Haridwar is currently hosting the 2010 Kumbh Mella, which is said to be the largest spiritual gathering on the planet (sometimes up to 10 million pilgrims). I wanted to see it, but not really be in it. Too many crowds for my taste. So, I'm happy that I get to simply pass through for the day.

Let's hit the road!

We Go Where Eagles Dare

Golden Eagle, Dharamsala, India
"We walk the streets at night, we go where eagles dare!" - The Misfits
Ok, I'm pretty sure the Misfits weren't talking about anything like hiking a tall mountain, but they were one of my ex-wife's favorite bands, so I took a liking to their music. Their song, "Where Eagles Dare," shares the name with a 1968 WWII movie and originally comes from Shakespeare's Richard the III:
"The world is grown so bad, that wrens make prey where eagles dare not perch". - Shakespeare
I feel pretty sure that Shakespeare wasn't talking about walking in the Himilayas either. Oh well. I like the phrase. And, personally, I go where eagles dare.

Dharamsala Valley, IndiaIn fact, there is something about vast mountain ranges and untouched wildernesses (where even eagles dare not perch) that have always sparked a deep interest in me. When I first heard about Alaska as a young teen, I became obsessed with it and decided I must go. When I first heard about the Himilayas (which wasn't really until about age 24) the same interest arose. "I must go."

However, years passed and I still haven't been deep in either of these mountain wildernesses. Perhaps, it's time. I just got my first taste, like a small sip for a thirsty man.

Tibetan Monks, Triund, IndiaI made the 18km roundtrip trek from Mcleod Ganj (1770m/5800ft) to Triund (2900m/9514ft) and arrived at the head of the Dhauladhar mountain range!

At the top I met some friendly monks, originally from Tibet, who were up on the mountain just enjoying the day. I pointed to the peak and said "Big Mountain." They laughed at me! I think they were also taking a small sip to quench the thirst of living in a flat flat India. The monk with the umbrella said "India's like the palm of your hand," and then he looked at his palm and blew a gust across it as if he had just blown away all of India with one Himilayan wind.

Dhauladhar Range, IndiaIn the ongoing comedy of my health saga, I managed to get severely sunburned on the trek. Doh! "Oh, You Body!" Still smiling though.

I met a monk in saffron robes (Thai?) on the way up who gave the advice: "Slow slow." I took the advice and got up in about 5 hours. I came down in less than three, though.

Golden Eagle, Dharamsala, IndiaAmongst Rhododendron groves and butterflies, the wilderness highlight was probably when I got close enough to the white bird I'd been tracking to realize it was a vulture! (apparently "the Lammergeier or Bearded Vulture – known for its enormous wingspan (up to 3m) and habit of dropping bones onto rocks from a height to split them for the marrow inside." - see my source at the bottom of this post.)

Someone told me that it was an Eagle, but I knew it wasn't, so I'd been calling it "The Albatross" for fun. Now, I can rest and recuperate before setting out in search of the next Great Elusive Albatross!

[For Bird Identification, I just found this cool post by a birdwatcher who traveled this area of India. That's why I think, in fact, that these are Golden Eagles here.]

Free Tibet! - Uprising Day

Free Tibet, Triund, IndiaIt's Uprising Day - the 51st anniversary of the 1959 uprising in Lhasa, Tibet.

If you don't know the story of Tibet, now is a really good time to educate yourself. I don't know much myself, but from what I've learned so far, it's brutal and disgusting what China has done and continues to this day. Other than cruel tortures, and blatant human rights violations, they have forced Tibetans to give up their robes and wear Maoist uniforms, they've forced them to stop practicing their religion, and have even done things like make them use their treasured scriptures as soles for their shoes! Messed up!

And, this is China! You know... the country that makes all that stuff you buy which says "made in China" on it! You know... one of the major superpowers in the world! (By the way, I'm officially boycotting "made in China" goods starting today)

If you thought George W. Bush was bad, well... at least we've got democracy. At least you're not wearing a uniform right now and forced to pledge your allegiance to the nation.

Tibetan Candle Light March, DharamsalaReally, I'm not an expert on this, but please exercise your right to free information (which China also doesn't have), and educate yourself on Tibet today! (In China, the citizens probably won't ever even see a blog post like this.) Allowing the truth to shine through is probably one of the best remedies for this horrendous situation.

Not to mention that the Dalai Lama has been trying to get into peace talks for 30 years, not even asking for an independent Tibet. All he's asking for is for the brutality to end. All he's asking for is for the Chinese to actually live in line with the principles set out in their own constitution.

If it seems like I'm chastising you...
It's Uprising Day! Speak Out!

Here are some resources I've found in a 2 minute google search:

Human Rights in Tibet

US relationship with China and Tibet

How You Can Help


~Peace~

Readers Write: Compassion in The World

Dalai Lama and Barack Obama, DharamsalaI've been writing some long email responses to some of the readers of my blog (ie. friends and family), and since I already did the writing, I figured I could put some of it here (edited some) and share the message with everyone. Hopefully I won't upset those who wrote to me. This one's from my Dad. He writes:
Hi Daniel,
Happy Losar – belatedly.

...Here is something you can find when you look up the city on Wikipedia: "Dharamshala" is a Hindi word (derived from Sanskrit) that is a compound of dharma and shālā . An approximate translation into English would be 'spiritual dwelling' or, more loosely, 'sanctuary'.
Cool! I just read that the Dalai Lama's ideal goal for Tibet would be that it becomes a "global peace sanctuary!" A place for human's and animal's to live simply, compassionately, and at peace. I love that idea!
...On Saturday at a dinner, I sat across from a fellow who talked about being red-green color blind which got me thinking about that feature again. I wonder how you see the myriad colors of India. Your photos are wonderful. I found a web site that simulates different color blindness visions

I loaded the image, 17th_karmapa_funny_face_losar.jpg, into the simulator and tried the different options. Tibetan red is a nice dark color; good contrasts. When you get back maybe you can help me see as you see. At any rate, in any hue rendering your photos are wonderful.
Thanks. Nothing like some fatherly appreciation!
Yesterday on the radio I heard a piece on the new Delhi ragpickers. Trash pickup is being privatized and at the moment is displacing ragpickers with private contractors – there are hopefully fixes to get the ragpickers employed or running such businesses. One person interviewed used to make 360 rupees a day and could afford to send his kids to school. Now he makes 100 rupees a day and has his whole family helping him. I think 100 rupees is about $2 a day. Yipes.

I have been reading an India atlas and looking up information on Bihar. Last year was a horrible drought year e.g. "With crops failing, 3.3 mn people in Bihar risk death by hunger" November 30th, 2009 ICT by IANS By Sahil Makkar. And, another article: "Even after 50 years of planned development more than half of the population of Bihar are classified as poor. According to All India Statistical Data 1999-2000, 54.63% of total population of Bihar survive in absolute poverty i.e., they are living below poverty line. It means, they do not even receive the minimum basic needs of livelihood." I realize it must be a painful experience, but you are really there in the middle of this intractable situation.
Bihar was incredibly poor, yes. It was announced during the retreat that on one very cold night in Bodh Gaya, 4 villagers had died of the cold. Too poor for proper warmth and shelter.
I am glad you saw the Dalai Lama. He is full of joy and good sense. I think about what it is like to struggle for justice for your whole life time. You know you will not succeed in your lifetime. And still to have such joy, humor, practicality, and intensity of purpose. I think he is one of the most remarkable people in the world. And, he was tapped for the job. He did not fill out an application. But he stepped up to the job.

Love,
Dad
About the Dalai Lama, I totally agree with you, and it has been a wonderful experience both to see him, and to see the impact he's had on the people of this village. On the flip side, I have been exploring another issue which is the issue of "spiritual celebrity." I heard it said by one teacher in the west that we (as westerners) don't know how to deal with the concept of a "guru" or a spiritual teacher. We don't have a good model for it. (Probably there are lots of poor models for it worldwide, but specifically speaking about the west...) We have preachers, and we have the pope. But, perhaps more influential, we have celebrities! And, so, this teacher was suggesting that a lot of people who want to live a good life may fall back on the celebrity model when they don't know what else to do.

I think it'd be a shame to say that the love of the Dalai Lama for the Tibetan people is any better or more important or more dazzling than say the love of a mother for her child, or the love of a child for bananas! I'm not saying that you were suggesting such a hierarchy, Dad, but this aura of celebrity does seem to surround the Dalai Lama, and I think it's disempowering for the heart of the individual. Anyway, enough said about that.

Thanks for sharing, Dad, and I hope you don't mind me passing on the message with others.

40 Days and 40 Nights

Moon Rise, DharamsalaSay what you will, but I've always liked the phrase: "What would Jesus do?"

Well, what Jesus DID do was go into the desert and fast for forty days. So, maybe that's a good place to start.

I won't be fasting for forty days, but on March 15th I'm going on retreat again. I think it's forty one days, however, as I'll be released on April 25th. I also looked and saw that a nearby Goenka center is starting a course on the 26th of April, so I might go and sit that course too, which would be about 52 days. Or, I might serve the Goenka course, or maybe not go at all, depending on how I feel after the first 40. But, the chances are that you won't hear anything from me for about 50 days after I go into silence.

The course is led by OpenDharma.org, who have been highly recommended to me, and I've already met Jaya (one of the leaders of the retreat.) It will be at a beautiful Christian Ashram (another sign?) called Sattall Ashram. It's said to be in the woods, far away from the busy cities. Smile!

I'm quite grateful for this opportunity for extended practice. What incredible fortune to have the luxury of time and support for my meditation practice. One of my meditation mentors recently told me that I must have good karma, to see the Dalai Lama, and the Bodh Gaya retreat, and now this. It's wonderful. Jesus had to go to a desert and didn't have anyone serving him food! Oh, man!

I actually just finished a little informal six day self-retreat here in Dharamsala and it went very well. I'll write more about it later. I managed to subsist on about $7 per day, so that makes for a pretty economical retreat! I may have to come back here.

I topped off my self-retreat with a hike to Triund (2900m). I'll write more about that later too (and upload some of the several hundred photos I took).

For the record though, Jesus didn't really plan to go to the desert, he was led by the Spirit.
(Mat 4:1) Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert...
It seems most things he did were led by the Spirit. So, I think that closes the case on "what would Jesus do?"... he would follow the Spirit. End of story.

Follow your Spirit.